God equips us with enough intelligence to question why we're here.
But not enough wisdom to answer that question.
Disclaimer: I'm probably paraphrasing. Contact comes to mind.
Tips for Finding Happiness in Your Daily Life
10 years ago
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
All In a Day's Work 8
Louis stopped by my office to invite Derek II to join him in a puffy session out back.
"That's it for me," announced Louis. "Smokes and Red Bull. No more food."
Which really got a reaction out of me. "Wha?!" I shrieked.
"I'm gonna stop eating," declared Louis.
"Why?" I pursued. I mean Louis is a triple-decker bacon cheeseburger kinda guy! It is soothing to know there are people out there who don't tally up their fat intake in grams at the end of the day.
All Louis did in response was to pat his belly with his palms, and grin. I'm familiar with that sound. Akin to a tribal drum.
"He's gonna be like you, V.!" Egged on Derek with a twinkle in his eyes.
Louis pointed at me. "I want that body," said Louis with a smirk.
As the fellas exited, i imagined verbalizing, "You can have this body any time, Louis."
Not so much that i really mean it. Just that i'm a pathological flirt. Especially when a guy seems vulnerable. And Louis is cute. Yesterday i brought him work for rectification.
"Jesus Christ!" Exclaimed an incredulous Louis at the absurdity.
"Yes, my child," i responded, and couldn't wipe that grin off my face.
"That would be my answer!" Said Louis with a smile of satisfaction and mischief.
Oh, yes. Commonalities. Those can be very misleading.
"That's it for me," announced Louis. "Smokes and Red Bull. No more food."
Which really got a reaction out of me. "Wha?!" I shrieked.
"I'm gonna stop eating," declared Louis.
"Why?" I pursued. I mean Louis is a triple-decker bacon cheeseburger kinda guy! It is soothing to know there are people out there who don't tally up their fat intake in grams at the end of the day.
All Louis did in response was to pat his belly with his palms, and grin. I'm familiar with that sound. Akin to a tribal drum.
"He's gonna be like you, V.!" Egged on Derek with a twinkle in his eyes.
Louis pointed at me. "I want that body," said Louis with a smirk.
As the fellas exited, i imagined verbalizing, "You can have this body any time, Louis."
Not so much that i really mean it. Just that i'm a pathological flirt. Especially when a guy seems vulnerable. And Louis is cute. Yesterday i brought him work for rectification.
"Jesus Christ!" Exclaimed an incredulous Louis at the absurdity.
"Yes, my child," i responded, and couldn't wipe that grin off my face.
"That would be my answer!" Said Louis with a smile of satisfaction and mischief.
Oh, yes. Commonalities. Those can be very misleading.
All In a Day's Work 7
This was a memo on the company portal this morning.
That's, like, the best recall reason. Ever!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ostentation
Three individuals have showered me with love in the workplace. I have reached the point of saturation. I shall ask no more of life.
Vision 3
More serendipity since yesterday.
Chili and dark chocolate, huh? Who knew? Captivated, I stared for what felt like an eternity, as if Time had stood still, and it was just me and this spunky pack alone, all dimensions warped and irrelevant.
I picked it up, contemplated possible outcomes, and put it down. Picked it up again, felt it at my fingertips for a while, and decided it wasn't time.
One of the most intense encounters i've had in recent past. LOL.
All In a Day's Work 6
Yesterday Keith* my manager was going to the District Office to interview for a promotion. If he gets the job, he'll be leaving us. I've heard the assistant manager and the lead sales are applying for higher runks too. Nothing stays stagnant indeed.
All the more reason for me to leave, too.
After wishing Keith good luck, which i meant, i was curious about how much time was allotted for the selection process, Keith's presentation included. He'd been stressing over it somewhat. I could only imagine how nerve-racking that must be.
Apparently not enough coffee was in my system yet, as i blurted out, "How long is your thing?"
Then i heard myself, and my smile froze. I wondered if i should crack a joke to relieve the tension the implication of obscenity might have sprung.
Keith didn't even blush. Nor did he cringe or hesitate before he gave me a straight-faced answer that was thoroughly professional and pertinent.
Guess everybody has a dirty mind not. : )
*Not his real name
All the more reason for me to leave, too.
After wishing Keith good luck, which i meant, i was curious about how much time was allotted for the selection process, Keith's presentation included. He'd been stressing over it somewhat. I could only imagine how nerve-racking that must be.
Apparently not enough coffee was in my system yet, as i blurted out, "How long is your thing?"
Then i heard myself, and my smile froze. I wondered if i should crack a joke to relieve the tension the implication of obscenity might have sprung.
Keith didn't even blush. Nor did he cringe or hesitate before he gave me a straight-faced answer that was thoroughly professional and pertinent.
Guess everybody has a dirty mind not. : )
*Not his real name
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Pawed
Serendipity @ BB&B.
Cherry & Chili AND dark??! Why didn't i get it?
Perhaps because i was busy procuring a pillow (or two - cuz i need to sit up in bed at times) that actually doesn't leave me in excruciating pain.
But i did get Ghirardelli raspberry-filled dark squares, a familiar fave. To go with my Tempur-Pedic Symphony, essentially my last hope. I mean if a $99 foam mass won't rescue you, you're irredeemably fucked.
Post-transaction, the store manager asked if i would like my purchase in a bag.
"Yes, please," i requested, relieved that the ordeal was over (for now).
Holding up the pink and gold Ghirardelli pouch, she continued, "And would you like me to eat this for you?"
Caught off-guard, i laughed along, muttering something along the lines of "I'll bring it by..."
Whilst in my head i shot daggers at her filthy mitts and ground my teeth, growling, "Get your own, lady!"
Monday, February 25, 2008
Alexander Is Turning In His Grave
On Sunday morning JD called on his cell so as not to interrupt his internet connection with Vonage voice usage. [Don't ask.]
We were on the subject of screen capture, when i heard him say, "Lipitor® is cooool!"
"Wha?" I was perplexed. "Did you say 'Lipitor® is cool'?"
"No!..." Cried JD. "I said, 'The Snip-It Tool is cool!'"
"O-o-oh..." I responded. "That makes more sense. Cuz isn't Lipitor like a liver mediation?* I was like, 'What an abrupt change in subject!'"
*It is not. See the official site.
We were on the subject of screen capture, when i heard him say, "Lipitor® is cooool!"
"Wha?" I was perplexed. "Did you say 'Lipitor® is cool'?"
"No!..." Cried JD. "I said, 'The Snip-It Tool is cool!'"
"O-o-oh..." I responded. "That makes more sense. Cuz isn't Lipitor like a liver mediation?* I was like, 'What an abrupt change in subject!'"
*It is not. See the official site.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Aftermath
The price i pay for an eventful Saturday:
My arms hurt from carrying laundry (all 3 loads of it), and my legs hurt from a session of self-love (all 30 seconds of it).
Apparently i'm not in tiptop shape.
My arms hurt from carrying laundry (all 3 loads of it), and my legs hurt from a session of self-love (all 30 seconds of it).
Apparently i'm not in tiptop shape.
Snippet 40
Friday, February 22, 2008
Rob:
Where are you going to dinner with your family?
V:
Oh... Probably just some Chinese place in Milpitas, again. The options they're open to are so limited. Which is why i don't feel very motivated to join them in the first place. Plus i don't do dinner! It's like a waste of time.
Rob:
Is it family-style?
V:
Oh sitting around a table you mean?
Rob:
Sharing...
V:
Oh, yes. Course, growing up, we just called it "eating".
Rob:
Where are you going to dinner with your family?
V:
Oh... Probably just some Chinese place in Milpitas, again. The options they're open to are so limited. Which is why i don't feel very motivated to join them in the first place. Plus i don't do dinner! It's like a waste of time.
Rob:
Is it family-style?
V:
Oh sitting around a table you mean?
Rob:
Sharing...
V:
Oh, yes. Course, growing up, we just called it "eating".
A Loner's Concerto
The first time i listened to "Taking Chances" by Platinum Weird, i was drawn in. I remember the courage to dive in. A cannonball without holding my nose. Seems a long time ago now.
In the chorus, the single notion of "never knowing if there's... a hand to hold" gets to me. My last relationship could very well be, in fact, the last. I may never have another hand to hold.
On Friday i went to dinner with my brother's family. Prior to that i had chosen not to see them for four weeks.
Somewhere in there i told JD, self-proclaimed recluse, "If i didn't hafta work to put booze on the table, i'd never leave the house!"
JD, of course, laughed whole-heartedly.
Both W & Elsie gave me a hard time about solitude on several occassions. Even though i have joked about agoraphobia, i will ban the paralysis label. I finally wrote it like it was [ha, ha]:
All i can repeat is: Know that it's not personal. I don't know how to explain at times and i don't expect you to fully understand and it's not necessarily a bad thing nor does it mean i don't miss you. Yet, sometimes, a loner NEEDS to be alone. I have peace. I'm not exactly depressed. It's just what i need and i'd rather not go against my grain when i'm in that mode.
I do appreciate your staying in touch.
I never heard back from them. Didn't expect to. After all, what does one say to that?
The kids looked different after four weeks. They do grow like weeds, don't they? I sat right next to W. We had a good chat as we always have since we were kids.
My brother i love him. Even if he may never get me.
After din-din we all took a long stroll. Denisse and her Mom had joined us, too. As we exited the restaurant my three-year-and-three-month old nephew AC came reaching for my hand and grabbed it. Without saying a word. Just claimed it, matter-of-fact-ly. Out of all people, he picked me! Off we went, leisurely, hand in hand. At one point he let go, pointed to a metal plate on the ground and asked, "What's that?"
Stopping in my tracks to study the relief design, i enthusiastically informed AC, "It's the sewer!"
"Sewer..." AC repeated after me, cracking Denisse up.
In the next 15 minutes or so, in a similar manner, he'd get distracted, run off and point to something, and express his thoughts to me. But he always, but always, came back to me, and grabbed my hand once again.
I guess i do have a hand to hold after all.
In the chorus, the single notion of "never knowing if there's... a hand to hold" gets to me. My last relationship could very well be, in fact, the last. I may never have another hand to hold.
On Friday i went to dinner with my brother's family. Prior to that i had chosen not to see them for four weeks.
Somewhere in there i told JD, self-proclaimed recluse, "If i didn't hafta work to put booze on the table, i'd never leave the house!"
JD, of course, laughed whole-heartedly.
Both W & Elsie gave me a hard time about solitude on several occassions. Even though i have joked about agoraphobia, i will ban the paralysis label. I finally wrote it like it was [ha, ha]:
All i can repeat is: Know that it's not personal. I don't know how to explain at times and i don't expect you to fully understand and it's not necessarily a bad thing nor does it mean i don't miss you. Yet, sometimes, a loner NEEDS to be alone. I have peace. I'm not exactly depressed. It's just what i need and i'd rather not go against my grain when i'm in that mode.
I do appreciate your staying in touch.
I never heard back from them. Didn't expect to. After all, what does one say to that?
The kids looked different after four weeks. They do grow like weeds, don't they? I sat right next to W. We had a good chat as we always have since we were kids.
My brother i love him. Even if he may never get me.
After din-din we all took a long stroll. Denisse and her Mom had joined us, too. As we exited the restaurant my three-year-and-three-month old nephew AC came reaching for my hand and grabbed it. Without saying a word. Just claimed it, matter-of-fact-ly. Out of all people, he picked me! Off we went, leisurely, hand in hand. At one point he let go, pointed to a metal plate on the ground and asked, "What's that?"
Stopping in my tracks to study the relief design, i enthusiastically informed AC, "It's the sewer!"
"Sewer..." AC repeated after me, cracking Denisse up.
In the next 15 minutes or so, in a similar manner, he'd get distracted, run off and point to something, and express his thoughts to me. But he always, but always, came back to me, and grabbed my hand once again.
I guess i do have a hand to hold after all.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Deep Thoughts (Not By Jack Handey) 14
I was walking toward the door when i realized: it's kinda important, when taking out the trash, to have the trash with you.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Inside My Medicine Cabinet
I slide the door open, and not only do i see frolicking, it's ménage à trois with doggy style in the back row.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
You Know You Have a Dysfunctional Relationship When...
... you keep addressing each other as "lieutenant".
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Food For Thought 7
Everything i need for soba, sans the soba.
I have the missing ingredient. I'm bypassing it.
There's symbolism in that. But i'm bypassing that, too.
Romp
On Thursday i had a humong-gantic Thai lunch comprised of roasted eggplant and chili-flaked prawns, my favorite combo these days. I was stuffed for hours. There was not even a smidgeon of room for snacks in the evening.
I came home to find in my fridge a bowl of saran-wrapped tuna. Fresh out of the can and untouched. Virginal. Serendipity.
I was puzzled. Then it dawned on me that i'd prepared that the previous night, thinking i'd make that my lunch. All i needed was to add some Miracle Whip, lemon juice, sweet relish and condiments, and i'd be good to go.
Later i told JD, "I felt bad i'd forgotten all about the tuna!"
"Do you seriously think your tuna was talking to you?" Mocked JD.
"No," I replied. "But i could feel its pain. Like i was the man who totally forgot my wife the saran-wrapped tuna that was sitting at home waiting, and had a juicy nooner with the mistress that was my Thai lunch!"
I came home to find in my fridge a bowl of saran-wrapped tuna. Fresh out of the can and untouched. Virginal. Serendipity.
I was puzzled. Then it dawned on me that i'd prepared that the previous night, thinking i'd make that my lunch. All i needed was to add some Miracle Whip, lemon juice, sweet relish and condiments, and i'd be good to go.
Later i told JD, "I felt bad i'd forgotten all about the tuna!"
"Do you seriously think your tuna was talking to you?" Mocked JD.
"No," I replied. "But i could feel its pain. Like i was the man who totally forgot my wife the saran-wrapped tuna that was sitting at home waiting, and had a juicy nooner with the mistress that was my Thai lunch!"
Shrinkage 6
My BGF JM now lives in Eagan, MN. The last time we spoke, she lamented that she couldn't seem to stop eatting excessively and putting on weight.
"Unlike you," she said. "I want to eat after i'm done cooking!"
I assured her that she didn't look like she'd gained a pound in her recent photos on Friendster. And i meant it wholeheartedly. She looked just lovely as always with her charming smile that would lift your spirits, renewing your faith in life.
On the other hand i do understand one tends to chow more in frigid climate. And it'd better be something steamy and starchy and satisfying, too. Fuck salads and cold deli sandwiches! One spits on them!
JM expressed disbelief in my size 0 status. It mattered little it'd come from an unhealthy place.
In my attempt to shed light on reality, i told JM, "You know, one drawback of being thin is that it hurts to sit on your ass... at my computer, in my car, on the couch... I shift and there is no comfortable position."
To which JM replied, "Is that all?"
"Unlike you," she said. "I want to eat after i'm done cooking!"
I assured her that she didn't look like she'd gained a pound in her recent photos on Friendster. And i meant it wholeheartedly. She looked just lovely as always with her charming smile that would lift your spirits, renewing your faith in life.
On the other hand i do understand one tends to chow more in frigid climate. And it'd better be something steamy and starchy and satisfying, too. Fuck salads and cold deli sandwiches! One spits on them!
JM expressed disbelief in my size 0 status. It mattered little it'd come from an unhealthy place.
In my attempt to shed light on reality, i told JM, "You know, one drawback of being thin is that it hurts to sit on your ass... at my computer, in my car, on the couch... I shift and there is no comfortable position."
To which JM replied, "Is that all?"
Saturday, February 16, 2008
What I Learned Today 2
@ Rancho San Antonio, natural habitat of mountain lions:
During an encounter with the animal,
- Do not appear intimidated even if you are
- Maintain eye contact
- Act large; make noise
- Do not bend but remain erect
- When backing away, do not turn your back on the feline
Wow, that's like... dating... sex... and relationship stuff!
During an encounter with the animal,
- Do not appear intimidated even if you are
- Maintain eye contact
- Act large; make noise
- Do not bend but remain erect
- When backing away, do not turn your back on the feline
Wow, that's like... dating... sex... and relationship stuff!
Peregrination 5
Hiked at Rancho San Antonio today. Been meaning to check it out for what must've been two years now. Every guy i've dated in South Bay has recommended it. Even though there hasn't been that many guys.
It was a triumphant and cathartic experience for me. Hiking was one of those few things left i couldn't do alone. [Now i realize if i don't do it alone, i'll never do it. You know, kinda like sex. : ) ] Plus i looked very cute and slender in my Nike Dri-Fit racerback tank. Even though there was practically no moisture to wick away.
Planning ahead was a little daunting. The map alone was overwhelming. 3,800 acres for crying out loud! I wound up disregarding the map and just picked a path at arrival, and changed course as my heart desired. It was liberating.
It was a triumphant and cathartic experience for me. Hiking was one of those few things left i couldn't do alone. [Now i realize if i don't do it alone, i'll never do it. You know, kinda like sex. : ) ] Plus i looked very cute and slender in my Nike Dri-Fit racerback tank. Even though there was practically no moisture to wick away.
Planning ahead was a little daunting. The map alone was overwhelming. 3,800 acres for crying out loud! I wound up disregarding the map and just picked a path at arrival, and changed course as my heart desired. It was liberating.
This reminds me of an infant's tomb. Sorry, when i was young i used to wander about a Catholic cemetery near my house. It was like a cleansing retreat every time.
This i entitle "The Couple". They look happy.
Taylor likes fences. I wonder if it's the notion of destination or infinity.
Something very poetic about this spot. This shot would make a great CD cover for an inspirational album - LOL! For now it'll just be my wallpaper for a while. : )
Friday, February 15, 2008
Kiss Me, I'm a Foodie 5
I think my starvation phase has passed after six months. This morning I had hash brown and an Egg McMuffin. I texted JD: I'm on the road to Fatsville! For lunch i actually had refined carbs (*gasp*!) and loved it.
It felt so good to be full. Came 2 p.m., i was still stuffed, but i was itching for munchies. After all, i will attest that eating has nothing to do with hunger.
Damn the newly installed vending machine in the break room!
Wallet in hand, i walked by Derek II to inform him, "I am very tempted to grab a bag of Doritos right now!"
He encouraged me to. Not that i needed much nudging. But his endorsement did obliterate the last shred of guilt.
Delighted, i almost shrieked, "Will you share with meee??"
"Sure!" An enthusiastic Derek gladly accepted.
After i poured half the contents on a paper towel on my desk and handed Derek the bag (almost one gram of fat per chip! Jesus Christ!), Derek looked over to Kato who was hanging out in my office (everyone likes to hang out in my office cuz that's where the party is. LOL!) and announced, "V. is trying to get me fat, Kato!"
To which i responded, "Let's grow fat together!"
Boisterous laughter ensued. When it subsided, i looked over at the guys and posed the question, "Isn't that romantic?" More uncontrollable cackle.
Indeed JD would agree that line would make the best Valentine's card.
It felt so good to be full. Came 2 p.m., i was still stuffed, but i was itching for munchies. After all, i will attest that eating has nothing to do with hunger.
Damn the newly installed vending machine in the break room!
Wallet in hand, i walked by Derek II to inform him, "I am very tempted to grab a bag of Doritos right now!"
He encouraged me to. Not that i needed much nudging. But his endorsement did obliterate the last shred of guilt.
Delighted, i almost shrieked, "Will you share with meee??"
"Sure!" An enthusiastic Derek gladly accepted.
After i poured half the contents on a paper towel on my desk and handed Derek the bag (almost one gram of fat per chip! Jesus Christ!), Derek looked over to Kato who was hanging out in my office (everyone likes to hang out in my office cuz that's where the party is. LOL!) and announced, "V. is trying to get me fat, Kato!"
To which i responded, "Let's grow fat together!"
Boisterous laughter ensued. When it subsided, i looked over at the guys and posed the question, "Isn't that romantic?" More uncontrollable cackle.
Indeed JD would agree that line would make the best Valentine's card.
Floral 3
Perhaps because this time i actually changed the water twice in 36 hours and snip the stem at a 60° angle (not sure that's optimal but it's not a science to me - i actually derived pleasure from the act which was shocking). If you knew my history with house plants and cut flowers you would see: This is huge!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Shrinkage 5
As i have mentioned once or twice, my wrists are now tiny.
Recently, when i came home one day, i reached under my heavy peacoat sleeve in an attempt to unclasp my watch. I fumbled around my wrist. My watch wasn't there. My heart sank. I've lost it! It must've fallen off somewhere!
Where could it have been? I was distraught.
And then i realized my watch had slid two inches up and now sat on my lower arm where i wasn't expecting it.
Recently, when i came home one day, i reached under my heavy peacoat sleeve in an attempt to unclasp my watch. I fumbled around my wrist. My watch wasn't there. My heart sank. I've lost it! It must've fallen off somewhere!
Where could it have been? I was distraught.
And then i realized my watch had slid two inches up and now sat on my lower arm where i wasn't expecting it.
Snippet 42
V:
In the past couple of days i was convinced i was no good at this and my blog was shit. Some nights i have nothing to say and when i go 48 hours without material i'm afraid i have nothing left to write about and that's the end for me. And then there are nights when i just can't stop writing.
JD:
I've always known you are talented.
V:
Not being able to shut up about things is not a talent.
In the past couple of days i was convinced i was no good at this and my blog was shit. Some nights i have nothing to say and when i go 48 hours without material i'm afraid i have nothing left to write about and that's the end for me. And then there are nights when i just can't stop writing.
JD:
I've always known you are talented.
V:
Not being able to shut up about things is not a talent.
As Told To Taylor 2
the day i stop blogging i'll have nothing to live for, unless i pick up knitting or something.
Just Another Day, Sayeth the Singleton
Long-stem rose from Derek II, very unexpected:
And candy from Louis, regifted:
My commentary: "Why couldn't this be heart-shaped? Or... in some other shape?" And i grinned wickedly with a "Did i just say that?!" expression.
The guys laughed heartily.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Perplexity
It's 7:24 a.m. on Monday. The work day hasn't even started yet, and i'm giving myself a pep talk:
The week will be over soon!
Hmm... Perhaps i'm not in love with my job.
The week will be over soon!
Hmm... Perhaps i'm not in love with my job.
Oust
My place smells like fried fish grease and dead shrimp.
All that once whole and well must putrefy.
All that once whole and well must putrefy.
Good Deed of the Day 2
Last night on Free Rice i got to level 40, 4 up from my first attempt. Grains of rice donated = 1,180.
I've always understood addiction to video games in terms of continually challenging oneself. But for the first time i experience what it's like to be a gamer. Cool.
I've always understood addiction to video games in terms of continually challenging oneself. But for the first time i experience what it's like to be a gamer. Cool.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Omega-3 Jones 2
When i opened the wrapper I noticed the label read "true cod". As opposed to what? False cod? Thank you for the seal of authenticity!When i bought the fish on Thursday, i asked for "one cod filet please". The seafood lady slung the sucker on the scale and announced, "It is under half a pound. Are you sure that's all you need?"
Lady, it's fish for one. There's no mystery. Let's not rub it in. : ) Speaking of rub, this is the kind i used:
I bought it at the Gilroy Garlic Fest last July. Finally, six months and two weeks later...
OMG so easy. Flip once and voilà!
Soooo good... It looks burned but trust me there was nothing substandard about the end result. Every flake exuded juice and flavor. And there is just something about branded meat that's very visually titillating*. Next time, though, i will turn down the heat as i suspect i took the phrase "hot grill" in the directions too literally. : )*There's "tit" in "titillate"! *giggle*
Jiffy
I love showering on Sunday when i haven't been out all weekend so there is no bra to handwash and no deodorant to rub off my pits. I mean those little-black-dress-approved varieties just won't come off without a fight!!! : )
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Thank God for Sorting By Play Count on iTunes...
... so that i remember what it feels like to actually care about something greater than myself.
And it's only been 6 months.
And thank God for Elisa.
And it's only been 6 months.
And thank God for Elisa.
Friday, February 08, 2008
Ten Thousand Spoons
It is ironic
that i am sad about
being alone
And then
when someone disturbs that peace
i resent it
that i am sad about
being alone
And then
when someone disturbs that peace
i resent it
Thursday, February 07, 2008
And You May Quote Me 21
I intersperse drinking with eating - equivalent to slowing down so you don't cum too fast.
Space
I was the last to be served in a series of customers at the seafood section at the Lucky near work. After the lady was done with me, she literally went, "Whew!"
Then she went on to explain, "Is there something about today? Everybody seems to want fish! Is there a holiday i've heard?"
"It is Chinese New Year," i felt obliged to reveal. "But i'm not sure if that has to do with it."
Her curiosity piqued, the lady went on to ask questions i had no answer to. One of them was "How many days does the celebration last, three?" Goodness i wouldn't even know today was the first day of the lunar new year had i not talked to one of my cousins recently. And by "talk" of course i mean "email". : )
Feeling bombarded and overwhelmed, i said, "I should know [the answers to your questions], but i don't. I'm really unfamiliar with tradition."
Now the seafood dude's curiosity was piqued, good Lord. "Were you born here? And grow up here?"
I was amazed. I wasn't going to give him my bio. Those facts have no proportional effect on how culturally hung-up one is. So i simply said:
No... I just don't pay attention to tradition.
At checkout, the cashier cheerily chatted with the female Caucasian customer in front of me, asking semi-personal questions, wishing her a good day. The personal details did not register as i usually space out while standing in line. Kinda like a rape victim not being all there during the act so that it would be like it was happening to someone else.
When it was my turn the cashier had this turned-off expression on his face as he half-heartedly greeted me. As if saying, "Oh, it's an Asian."
Needless to say, he did not chat me up. His voice was lifeless as he read me my total.
As he bid me farewell he didn't even look me in the eye. As he handed me my receipt he was already walking away. (There was no one behind me.)
I didn't care for his distaste, but that's fine. Just hand me my cooked prawns 31-40 and imitation crab and i'll be merrily on my way.
Then she went on to explain, "Is there something about today? Everybody seems to want fish! Is there a holiday i've heard?"
"It is Chinese New Year," i felt obliged to reveal. "But i'm not sure if that has to do with it."
Her curiosity piqued, the lady went on to ask questions i had no answer to. One of them was "How many days does the celebration last, three?" Goodness i wouldn't even know today was the first day of the lunar new year had i not talked to one of my cousins recently. And by "talk" of course i mean "email". : )
Feeling bombarded and overwhelmed, i said, "I should know [the answers to your questions], but i don't. I'm really unfamiliar with tradition."
Now the seafood dude's curiosity was piqued, good Lord. "Were you born here? And grow up here?"
I was amazed. I wasn't going to give him my bio. Those facts have no proportional effect on how culturally hung-up one is. So i simply said:
No... I just don't pay attention to tradition.
At checkout, the cashier cheerily chatted with the female Caucasian customer in front of me, asking semi-personal questions, wishing her a good day. The personal details did not register as i usually space out while standing in line. Kinda like a rape victim not being all there during the act so that it would be like it was happening to someone else.
When it was my turn the cashier had this turned-off expression on his face as he half-heartedly greeted me. As if saying, "Oh, it's an Asian."
Needless to say, he did not chat me up. His voice was lifeless as he read me my total.
As he bid me farewell he didn't even look me in the eye. As he handed me my receipt he was already walking away. (There was no one behind me.)
I didn't care for his distaste, but that's fine. Just hand me my cooked prawns 31-40 and imitation crab and i'll be merrily on my way.
On Deck
JD and i have this silly running habit of quoting A Few Good Men.
There is this guy at work, Louis*, whom i have caught doing likewise. I've wondered if the kids out on the floor appreciate those occasions nearly as much as i do. The corners of my mouth would twitch in a near-smile.
Today, after lunch, as I walked over to the soda machine, sales clerk Kato* eyed my dollar bill in hand and asked, "Do you need quarters?" Immediately i understood the machine was now stuffed with dollor bills and would take no more. I handed him my bill and followed him to the cash register.
Believing in giving credit where credit is due, I said to the kid, "Excellent customer service, Kato!" After all, he didn't have to care.
Louis who was standing right next to Kato looked at me with a wicked, suppressed smile, and mouthed the words, "What the fuck?"
Louis and i are friendly enough for jokes so i wasn't offended. I was just perplexed. Did Louis not like Kato? Given, Louis is the store cynic. But he's always been nothing but nice to me. Not that i took him seriously this time. I like his dark moods. There is a mutual understanding there. A cool dynamic.
Later in the day i got a chance to ask Louis why he had been appalled by my complimenting Kato.
"Because it wasn't said to me," said Louis. "I'm kinda stuck up that way."
I was taken aback that a man like Louis would need reassurance.
"Aww..." i said. "You know you're the best!"
I wish i would've had a clever comeback, but i had stage fright since both the manager and Derek II were in the room.
This evening i kicked myself as it occurred to me what i should've said:
Louis, you don't have to wear a badge to have honor!
*Not his real name
There is this guy at work, Louis*, whom i have caught doing likewise. I've wondered if the kids out on the floor appreciate those occasions nearly as much as i do. The corners of my mouth would twitch in a near-smile.
Today, after lunch, as I walked over to the soda machine, sales clerk Kato* eyed my dollar bill in hand and asked, "Do you need quarters?" Immediately i understood the machine was now stuffed with dollor bills and would take no more. I handed him my bill and followed him to the cash register.
Believing in giving credit where credit is due, I said to the kid, "Excellent customer service, Kato!" After all, he didn't have to care.
Louis who was standing right next to Kato looked at me with a wicked, suppressed smile, and mouthed the words, "What the fuck?"
Louis and i are friendly enough for jokes so i wasn't offended. I was just perplexed. Did Louis not like Kato? Given, Louis is the store cynic. But he's always been nothing but nice to me. Not that i took him seriously this time. I like his dark moods. There is a mutual understanding there. A cool dynamic.
Later in the day i got a chance to ask Louis why he had been appalled by my complimenting Kato.
"Because it wasn't said to me," said Louis. "I'm kinda stuck up that way."
I was taken aback that a man like Louis would need reassurance.
"Aww..." i said. "You know you're the best!"
I wish i would've had a clever comeback, but i had stage fright since both the manager and Derek II were in the room.
This evening i kicked myself as it occurred to me what i should've said:
Louis, you don't have to wear a badge to have honor!
*Not his real name
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Pop
I love this Cherry Chocolate Diet Dr. Pepper banner. First of all, i'm intrigued. Well personally if it was raspberry chocolate i'd be all over it instantaneously. I mean i'd be driving to the store right now! (OK that's a gross exaggeration.) But we don't always get what we want in life.
Second of all, gotta luv the disclaimer: contains no juice. Oh, really?!?? You don't say! My bubble is burst!!!
Good Deed of the Day
Today i donated 680 grains of rice by getting 34 words right with my high at vocab level 36. [I wish i had a point of reference on these figures. Yes, i can be competitive.] Boy, this could get addictive! Wouldn't be my first. Or last. That much is for sure.
But it sure feels good to do some good relatively effortlessly while being vain about being good at something. (Wow, that's a lot of "good". Maybe my vocabulary is not that vast. LOL!) All in the comfort of your own home. Thank you, Free Rice! And thank you, NSNM, for the link on your page!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Lapse
I keep listening to "Apologize" by OneRepublic.
I loved you with a fire red
and now it's turning blue
And i'm never sure if i'm the one who's "ten feet off the ground" and cut down, or the one who apologizes.
Either way, apparently, it's too late.
The song is ambiguous. And i'm left ambivalent. But at least i feel something.
Having been on both sides of the fence: that has got to count for something.
I loved you with a fire red
and now it's turning blue
And i'm never sure if i'm the one who's "ten feet off the ground" and cut down, or the one who apologizes.
Either way, apparently, it's too late.
The song is ambiguous. And i'm left ambivalent. But at least i feel something.
Having been on both sides of the fence: that has got to count for something.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Gap
Most of the staff i work with is young. Well, i don't exactly work with them; we coexist.
The other week, some were practicing headstands in the hallway. The hallway wall happened to be one of my office walls. Gotta love Californian buildings for their wood structures.
It sounded like someone was being thrown on the wall over and over. I endured it for a couple of minutes. Then it grew louder and more frequent. Like someone was demolishing my office with a gigantic metal ball. While i was in it.
"That's it," i thought, and stormed out.
"What the ef are you doing?!?" I inquired, my mouth agape, my lip curled and trembled.
Some of them laughed nervously. They all muttered at the same time, blaming this one kid. The same kid who once invited me to see his band play. Then they scampered away like scared, reprimanded children.
Ah, shit. It's official. I've aged gracefully into a prude of an old hag.
The other week, some were practicing headstands in the hallway. The hallway wall happened to be one of my office walls. Gotta love Californian buildings for their wood structures.
It sounded like someone was being thrown on the wall over and over. I endured it for a couple of minutes. Then it grew louder and more frequent. Like someone was demolishing my office with a gigantic metal ball. While i was in it.
"That's it," i thought, and stormed out.
"What the ef are you doing?!?" I inquired, my mouth agape, my lip curled and trembled.
Some of them laughed nervously. They all muttered at the same time, blaming this one kid. The same kid who once invited me to see his band play. Then they scampered away like scared, reprimanded children.
Ah, shit. It's official. I've aged gracefully into a prude of an old hag.
Entry
I hate when i can't log on to Blogger because there are no cookies. [Santa wouldn't discriminate!] On the error page there is this link named "Blogger Help explains how".
Let's not explain. Let's just fucking let me in.
Let's not explain. Let's just fucking let me in.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Sage 5
As i was listening to "Distractions" by Zero 7, i could've sworn i heard:
i am not unique in my talents and devoidness
But apparently those lyrics are not in there. AND "devoidness" is not a word.
Go figure, i'm mistaken. Probably because i was, uh, distracted.
i am not unique in my talents and devoidness
But apparently those lyrics are not in there. AND "devoidness" is not a word.
Go figure, i'm mistaken. Probably because i was, uh, distracted.
Housekeeping
Last night i told JD i can't bring myself to go to Target even though i desperately need Liquid-Plumr.
BTW here's my two cents on drain uncloggers:
I've always preferred Liquid-Plumr to Drano. Only this morning did it occurr to me that the former is totally targeted at women while the latter, men. I mean Drano sounds brawny and... android almost. Terminator 2 comes to mind. Whereas Liquid-Plumr is fluid rescue. Gotta hand it to those marketing folks.
Plus the self-foaming action doesn't hurt either.
So, backing away from the side note...
JD assured me the chances of me running into Taylor @ my neighborhood Target are "slim to none".
I cackled. Love that expression.
Perhaps because i am slim. And there is relief in the knowledge that someday i shall be none.
BTW here's my two cents on drain uncloggers:
I've always preferred Liquid-Plumr to Drano. Only this morning did it occurr to me that the former is totally targeted at women while the latter, men. I mean Drano sounds brawny and... android almost. Terminator 2 comes to mind. Whereas Liquid-Plumr is fluid rescue. Gotta hand it to those marketing folks.
Plus the self-foaming action doesn't hurt either.
So, backing away from the side note...
JD assured me the chances of me running into Taylor @ my neighborhood Target are "slim to none".
I cackled. Love that expression.
Perhaps because i am slim. And there is relief in the knowledge that someday i shall be none.
Inspiration
It is not everyday one comes across a good quote superimposed on some guy's tattooed back.
Shrinkage 4
I weighed myself this morning after a hiatal few weeks. My scale had dust bunnies on it. I weigh myself only when i think i have lost. I was right. I am back down to my low.
I was very pleased with myself. Somehow i need that pseudo-achievement to be convinced i am not a bad person. Even though i know full well emaciation is not emancipation.
About two weeks ago when i was chatting with some guy who fit the stereotype of "all muscles and no brain", he asked how much i weighed.
"I haven't weighed myself in weeks," i confessed. "But i'm gonna say probably 115."
"Good!" He replied. "I was afraid you were bony!"
"But i am bony," i responded, slightly offended.
It is true these are just numbers. Meaningless really. Just as thinness is meaningless. Some may think i pass for 90 - who knows. In terms of poundage, not age : )
Last Saturday when i met up with Taylor, at one point he picked up my left wrist to examine it. I thought he was marveling at the tininess. Not until the next day did i realize he was checking for scars.
So many disorders, so little time. : )
I was very pleased with myself. Somehow i need that pseudo-achievement to be convinced i am not a bad person. Even though i know full well emaciation is not emancipation.
About two weeks ago when i was chatting with some guy who fit the stereotype of "all muscles and no brain", he asked how much i weighed.
"I haven't weighed myself in weeks," i confessed. "But i'm gonna say probably 115."
"Good!" He replied. "I was afraid you were bony!"
"But i am bony," i responded, slightly offended.
It is true these are just numbers. Meaningless really. Just as thinness is meaningless. Some may think i pass for 90 - who knows. In terms of poundage, not age : )
Last Saturday when i met up with Taylor, at one point he picked up my left wrist to examine it. I thought he was marveling at the tininess. Not until the next day did i realize he was checking for scars.
So many disorders, so little time. : )
Sycamore
Last night i had a dream in which i kissed this girl with raven hair and bright eyes that were like serene ponds. It was mellow and romantic. Afterwards, stoked, she exclaimed, "Wow! I just made out with a girl!"
And i thought, "Eh! Done that." But i didn't say it out loud so as not to hurt her feelings.
So this morning i woke up longing for Buttercup's luscious lips. They were so soft and moist! It was a religious experience! I wondered when i'd see her again, if ever.
Which was cosmically remarkable because moments later i saw Derek II had left me a voicemail. From the lack of joy in his voice i conjectured he had not passed all his kidney stones yet. Plus it'd be a safe bet he was probably hungover : ) But he did say i was welcome to his Superbowl bash. Aww... it's nice to have an invite. But i ain't leaving the house today, i've decided from early on.
I do wonder if Buttercup is gonna be there.
And even though i don't care a lick about football, i will probably have the game on, just so i can imagine being in the same room as Buttercup. A girl can dream. : )
And i thought, "Eh! Done that." But i didn't say it out loud so as not to hurt her feelings.
So this morning i woke up longing for Buttercup's luscious lips. They were so soft and moist! It was a religious experience! I wondered when i'd see her again, if ever.
Which was cosmically remarkable because moments later i saw Derek II had left me a voicemail. From the lack of joy in his voice i conjectured he had not passed all his kidney stones yet. Plus it'd be a safe bet he was probably hungover : ) But he did say i was welcome to his Superbowl bash. Aww... it's nice to have an invite. But i ain't leaving the house today, i've decided from early on.
I do wonder if Buttercup is gonna be there.
And even though i don't care a lick about football, i will probably have the game on, just so i can imagine being in the same room as Buttercup. A girl can dream. : )
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I Have Chronic Pain Because...
... I have bad posture
... because i don't have a belly to hold my pants up [which are incidentally now 2 sizes too big]
and i'm constantly concerned my pants are gonna fall to my ankles
... because i don't have a belly to hold my pants up [which are incidentally now 2 sizes too big]
and i'm constantly concerned my pants are gonna fall to my ankles
Quote 88
So you're saying: he's like a hangnail compared to your cancer.
- JD, referring to my brother W's hangups
- JD, referring to my brother W's hangups
Bead
I grabbed hold of my swivel chair to move it closer to my computer desk and poked my index finger with a nail on the underside i wasn't expecting to be there. I am fascinated by the whole bleeding process. It is soooo pretty : )
What I Learned Today
These are called lumpsuckers. [Hold a second while i giggle.] But what you see here is not sucking, but adhesive pelvic discs with which they stabilize themselves on rocks on the ocean floor, to compensate for being poor swimmers.Does that make these cute lil suckers the equivalent of agoraphobics??
Not passing judgment. Just commiserating.
My Strange Brunch
- 1 serving of smoked salmon
- 0.2 oz. American Ossetra caviar
- 1 slice of wheat bread with honey mustard and spicy brown mustard
- 1 jalapeño-stuffed olive
- herb salad with baby greens, sliced mushrooms, mini pearl grape tomatoes, and sesame soy ginger vinaigrette
in that order.
And the only thing that strikes me as odd is the lone olive.
- 0.2 oz. American Ossetra caviar
- 1 slice of wheat bread with honey mustard and spicy brown mustard
- 1 jalapeño-stuffed olive
- herb salad with baby greens, sliced mushrooms, mini pearl grape tomatoes, and sesame soy ginger vinaigrette
in that order.
And the only thing that strikes me as odd is the lone olive.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Immaculate
I had the will to grocery-shop AND drop off dry cleaning this evening. I was impressed.
My cleaners circled "Saturday" on the claim check, looked up to me with her permanently lined eyes, smiled and informed me my work pants would be ready on Saturday. It took me a couple of seconds to realize: Saturday is tomorrow.
Instinctively i chuckled. How absurd. Thought i:
Let's see if i'm even gonna leave the house tomorrow. No rush! : )
My cleaners circled "Saturday" on the claim check, looked up to me with her permanently lined eyes, smiled and informed me my work pants would be ready on Saturday. It took me a couple of seconds to realize: Saturday is tomorrow.
Instinctively i chuckled. How absurd. Thought i:
Let's see if i'm even gonna leave the house tomorrow. No rush! : )
