Oar

Last night, on the way to picking up takeout with W and AC, i hummed along the Thomas theme song being played on DVD.

"Don't sing, Goo Goo!" Protested AC adamantly. "Don't sing!"

W tried to reason with AC. But the little fella was inconsolable.

"Who does he take after?" I asked rhetorically. W smirked knowingly.

Not to be egoistic. My singing is not that terrible.

When we were young (don't ask me to name an age) W used to forbid me to sing. He'd literally hit me. I never understood it. I called him the dictator.

Tonight Elsie and I shared a moment of high-fiving and laughing uncontrollably on the subject of posing for a photo op.

Mockery can be fun when it's us versus them. Then nobody gets hurt. Or so you think.

In the midst of boisterous laughter, AC, who was 10 feet away from the madding crowd, shouted, just when you thought he couldn't care less:

Don't laugh!

Repeatedly.

When AC was younger Elsie considered that he exhibited signs of autism.

To this day, i have to admit, he acts as though he experiences sensory overload.

Which i can relate to.

Peacemaker W suggested to AC, "Why is Goo Goo laughing? Has she had those happy fluids?"

And thus AC ran up to me, "Goo Goo, have you had those happy fluids?"

I had not. "No, they have not been offered to me this evening," i replied.

Amazingly, for a change, i was not in a rush to head home for those happy fluids.

I can always
turn this car around

Shard

On Thanksgiving day Denisse, Trent and i were invited over to W's. Elsie was making a feast.

Entrées were chicken wings in fermented bean curd sauce with chili pepper flakes, braised beef tongue and onion with a dash of twice-distilled rice wine (which totally threw me and left me skeptical - i was expecting a red varietal. But wow! It worked... and perfectly! Spontaneity and an adventurous spirit pays off, apparently), steamed striped bass, and sautéed asparagus with minced garlic.

Right. Nothing traditional about that menu! But it's not about the food, people! It's about the people!

OK. It's a little about the food. I hafta hand it to Elsie. She's a terrific cook. She does not disappoint. And she does not crack under pressure. If i could get over that one i could entertain.

After a tantalizing meal the gang were set to play some Wii.

Again, quite a deviation from tradition. I can only imagine.

I had gained 3.5 lb. since i last played Wii Fit, as displayed for the world to see. "Thanks a lot!" I yelled at the screen. Everyone laughed.

My BMI had risen, obviously. But just by a hair and remained within the same range.

"You're normal!" W exclaimed.

I can see why one may be shocked. This may be the only realm in which me and "normal" coexist.

Midday Mist

Gotta love asparagus-aroma-infused urine 19 hours after ingestion.

Ingestion of asparagus, that is.

Stimulus

I go online shopping and realize all merchandise items are personas for adoption. None is real.

I shrug. And take my pick anyway.

Beats being me.

Quote 142

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

- Albert Camus

Quote 141

And now let all this talk
collapse into silense

- Adya

Vignette 14

Yesterday at the auto show I asked Trent if he had a fave or two.

The Nissan 370Z was at the top of his list. "It just came out a few days ago!" A psyched Trent informed me.

I've liked its predecessor, the 350Z. So i see the appeal.

As we walked by one on a rotating platform, Trent pointed and suggested i could drive one.

"That car would be wasted on me," i replied.

"You drive fast!" Said an incredulous Trent.

Wow. For a 24-year-old to make that comment to a 37-year-old. That's almost like a compliment! LOL...

I giggled, "I'll wait till i have a midlife crisis to get a roadster."

"You don't have to wait!" Exclaimed Trent.

I laughed even louder. "That's right," I concurred. "I don't have to wait to have a midlife crisis. I can have one right now!"

Word Play 3

Today, at the S.F. Auto Show, Trent happened to sit in a Toyota Tacoma.

I then just saw Tacoma's got both "taco" and "coma" in it.

Lucent

I remember how stoked Taylor was a few months back when he saw both our new phones were the Palm Centro.

He held his in granite alongside mine in pearlescent and marveled at the sight. He was cute.

He still likes his women dark and i still like my men white, incidentally.

Snippet 76

Linus:
(opening scene - beachfront)
Nice work, Charlie Brown! It took the rock 4,000 years to come ashore. And now you've thrown it back.

Charlie Brown:
Everything I do makes me feel guilty.

- Snoopy, Come Home!


Disclaimer: I'm paraphrasing

Neigh

What's a pretty girl doing with my boy's name?

My Universal Question 2

Am i nobody if nobody wants to meet me at a coffeehouse on a Saturday morning?

Snippet 75

V:
(reprimanding self)
Dumbass!

Riley:
You're not dumb. You're my V.!

Quote 140

I didn't see you cry

- "Already Home", Habitación Doble, Ha-Ash & Brandi Carlile

As Told To Taylor 5

Public is just one L from pubic

Gazer

I pumped at a different gas station after work today. Does that count?

Taken

This evening i finally conquered fear and registered to donate my organs and tissues.

So that even if i may not have bettered the world in life, my death will serve a purpose. Or, hopefully, several.

A plethora would be preferred, but i'll settle for several.

This will also give me a reason to preserve myself better. Cuz Lord knows i can't do it for me.

Molasses

This morning i discover that my blog has one follower.

My first reaction:

I feel like Jesus fucking Christ!

Then i realize i probably need 11 more before i can say that.

And You May Quote Me 35

I love when my iPod sync is complete.

At least something is.

Blink

I didn't know my SuperPoke! Pet on Facebook could grow in size (and his appearance thereupon) (Hideous!!!) in addition to wealth.

I don't want Will to grow. I love him just the way he is.

Oh, wow. Dare i say... Was that symbolic??!

I mean... if i don't wanna grow, why should my pet?

Cyber... Diaper...

Quote 139

One love
is all i need

- "In This Life", Delta Goodrem

Snippet 74

V:
I still mourn the loss of you.
I need to stop.
How do i stop?

Taylor:
Accept.

Chicken and Purple Cauliflower in Ginger Plum Sauce

Habañeros and red jalapeño

Culinary 4

Drunken goat cheese from Italy.

No goat was harmed in the production of this cheese, as claimed.

A variety i found online was bathed in Chianti. Sweeeet.

I don't know why all the pix i took of the wedge was out of focus. A sign?

Brains

This is your brain on drugs.

Or, pan-fried. With scrambled eggs.

Brain takes a loooong time to cook. Who knew??!

OMG i killed a brain! Wouldn't be the first...

Protein-rich. And gross. But if you're accustomed to liver you should be fine.

Kiss me, Hannibal. Somebody should.

Snippet 73

V:
I wanted to win his love.

Dexter:
There was nothing there to be won.

Szechuan Peppery Baby Octopus

Making spicy salt with peppercorn indigenous to the Sichuan Basin...

Post-mortar-and-pestle

Lovely pink garlic fooled me into thinking i erroneously bought shallot! But... no, it's garlic : )

I agree tentacles are kinda gross...

By Yours Truly 24

Breaded tomatoes for breakfast.

Fried green tomatoes come to mind. But i know i'm far from the real thing.

I got the recipe from Kato who grew up in the Appalachians. OK, not quite. More like Angels Camp, California. Close enough. : P

This tomato happens to be handpicked by Kato.


Wild mushrooms with melted manchego. Finally! Manchego is soooo good i'm glad i didn't settle for some substitute.

Periwinkle sautéed in ground ginger and white pepper.

Tonight i entertain that periwinkle = topshell = conch

I recall how appalled Trent was when he learned that periwinkle is essentially marine snail, after having been told he was having "shellfish".

It's oceanic escargot. What's not to love??

Quote 138

... if you care
don't let them know

I really don't know life
at all

- "From Both Sides Now", Nana Mouskouri

Snippet 72

AC called me this evening. "Thank you, Goo Goo!" He said.

"For?" W prompted in the speakerphone background.

"The bottles!" Responded AC cheerily.

Turned out they were referring to the liqueur-filled dark chocolate set i brought over yesterday.

Foreboding, one might say.

As children we loved the liqueur variety. Culturally, alcoholism was not pervasive. Adults were not wary.

I sure hope this is not foreboding for AC as it was for me.

Too bad AC is too old for bibs:

Last night, while waiting for Elsie to come home, W teased AC by asking if so-and-so was chocolate.

"Are you... Chocolate AC?" W would ask.

At first AC would adamantly deny his own chocolateness, "No, no, no!" Violently shaking his head.

Then after a few minutes, when it came to me, AC stated with dignity, "You're not chocolate! You're Goo Goo!"

Oh, wow. To be defended by my 4-year-old nephew who probably knows more about self-respect than i do. That makes a glorious day.

Overrated

The more i look to be happy, the less happiness finds me.

The more the ego is crushed, the more fiercely it grows. Like a tumor.

My Fortune 3

And that's all i can do... I've got to remember that...

Warped

My atomic clock thinks it's 2048, Friday the 13th. And there is nothing i can do to change its mind.

Except to yank the life out of it and reenter reality.

If it was 2048 Friday the 13th i should be dead.

Reenter reality. What a concept. Could i learn from my atomic clock?

Unintended Perverseness

Skittishness never pays off...

I was afraid to work full-steam the frozen yogurt lever at Fresh Choice, and was dissatisfied with the outcome...

Lesson to be learned...

This was, incidentally, for my Mom. She preferred chocolate to vanilla. Who knew? Which she devoured. Freudian, anyone?

You shoulda seen how her face lit up upon learning vanilla was not the sole selection.

I, in turn, introduced her to brownie à la mode. She was an instant captive.

Those are Elsie's fingers in case you care.

Lick Observatory, Mount Hamilton

i relate, i relate, i relate...

Incidentally, i said LICK... And one letter short of MOUND...

Quote 137

When you place your happiness in someone's hands, you are bound to resent that person.

- Adya

Word Play 2

This morning, while waiting for Elsie and OC in the garage, well-trained AC pointed at the logo on the hood of Elsie's 550i and read:

B... M... W!

I congratulated AC on the fine job.

"What does that spell?" Inquired AC.

On the fly, i responded:

Be... my... wolf!

AC repeated after me dubiously, and giggled. I giggled in tow.

And for the rest of the day AC would intermittently repeat the acronym and the phrase it purportedly stood for, and giggle.

I felt evil!

My first version was gonna be "Be my woman", but censored for inappropriateness. The kid is way young for forlornness yet. Let merriment reign while it does!

Quote 136

If you know you're sick, you're not that sick.

- my mother, learning/semi-acknowledging/commenting on my mental illness for the very first time

Molten

There was a time when compassion would offend me.

It would imply that someone felt sorry for me for i was in worse shape. "In worse shape" = "inferior" which would confirm and reinforce my deep-seeded insecurities.

Seems obvious, but only recently i realized and came to terms with the fact that compassion simply means "feels with", literally.

It's been liberating at times.

I've dreaded/loathed my boss because she's one judgmental, fickle, insecure bitch. Know what? I'm one judgmental, fickle, insecure bitch. Again, we reject in others what we hate most in ourselves.

We've all been hurt, and we've all hurt, without knowing and without trying. Without meaning.

We've all thought we're hung up on an ex. Or two. Or three. At the end, more often than not, it's not about the person, but the way they made us feel at the time.

If i'm #3 (that i know of), does it make his missing me less special? Does it make me less special?

Just a droplet in the ocean, feeling the same things as the ocean, without knowing and without trying. Without meaning.

All... a... Board 4

One word: BONER!!!!!

Chase 8

Two nights ago, as i consummated my transaction on Adam & Eve, i was confronted with "What prompted this purchase tonight?"

An array of media was in the drop-down menu. None of the options said "loneliness".

Loneliness, yo, Papa. Loneliness, and the belief you're never gonna get laid again.

Decorum

Today after Brad's service i wanted to see how Stewart liked Derek II's Halloween bash which, as i mentioned, i couldn't make a cameo at.

Not like i really needed to know. Just had to make small talk. Cuz where do you go from lying about being fine after someone inquires on your well-being?

They probably don't really need to know, either. We're all just making small talk. We don't know what else to do.

"Did you have fun?" I asked Stewart.

I could see "What?!! You sick bastard..." all over Stewart's face. He was dumbfounded.

Hastily i elaborated/clarified, "Last night?", realizing my question was utterly inappropriate given we had JUST ATTENDED SERVICE FOR THE DECEASED.

Dynamic

This morning i attended Brad's memorial service at a church of Scientology. Never been inside one before.

It couldn't be gloomier, rainier, or windier. Perfect weather for bereavement.

There were L. Ron Hubbard quotes plastered everywhere. One close to where i was seated said:

Man is basically good. It is this basic goodness we need to set free.

Hmm. I'm not sure goodness is necessarily predominant. Or latent, for that matter.

I'd much prefer the Buddha's theory of infinite good and infinite evil. In a way that belief has always been a part of me. I just couldn't name it. Which is why i have thrived since a young age to understand criminal/pathological behavior.

So i can better understand myself.

Interrupted

Monday morning (essentially Sunday night) Riley lost Brad*, one of his best pool hall buddies, in a motorcycle accident.

Riley, Brad and i all worked together at Merry Lore.

Everyone was shocked by the news. It was surreal. There is just something very, very wrong for a 20-year-old who loves life to lose his.

Brad deserved to live much more than, say, someone like me, who's already dead inside. The universe is unfair indeed.

I didn't know Brad that well. He was relatively new. One fond memory i have, though, is of this one idle afternoon when i hung out with the guys in the warehouse goofing off. It was probably a Friday.

I walked in on Riley and Brad inventing a new game with the conveyor consisting of metal rollers. They'd prime the rollers by stepping on them and gliding across in sweeping motions, turning them at high speed. Then they'd place a lightweight box of metal handles on, which would be sent flying and then crashing.

I caught a couple of rounds while the boys took turns, and i started laughing hysterically. It was so sublimely absurd!

My laugh irrevocably infected the perpetrators and bystanders alike.

Barely intelligible, i implored, "Do it again!" which totally cracked Riley up.

Once in a while it's awesome to act and feel like a kid again.

Psyched Brad proceeded to prime the rollers again. They were turning so fast you could hear the continual swoosh. Adrenaline was pumping.

Then the anticlimactic happened: Brad's pant got caught in a metal handle, and the entire box uneventfully fell off to the side, contents spilled.

Brad turned bright red while Riley laughed his ass off.

I remember thinking to myself: Brad the biker dude has a sensitive side after all.

Fast forward to yesterday. Riley came in my office hella pissed. Derek I had just dissed him by basically calling him a lazy motherfucker who screwed up on an order (the culprit could not be determined). We've been short-staffed for the longest time. And i know for a fact that Riley, of all people, is not a lazy motherfucker. He's a rarity who actually cares.

"I'm just trying to get through this week!" Lamented Riley. "Um, sorry your order is screwed up, Derek. We're a little short-handed. Newton* [our assistant manager] is on maternity leave. And Brad is dead!"

Wow. When he put it that way, he really made me rethink life.


*Not his real name

Aptness

If not for pussy shaving, this poor sucka's face would never get wiped.

Even if no one is gonna eat it. Shave it anyway.

That would be my humble addition to that Martina McBride song on Waking Up Laughing.

My twist on Rumi's famous quote, if you will.