My neck feels better when i'm lying on my right.
My leg feels better when i'm lying on my left.
Either way, my heart aches.
Tips for Finding Happiness in Your Daily Life
10 years ago
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
And You May Quote Me 55
I am old, Wolfgangs! I don't wanna meet no Terry in Hampton, Virginia! I want someone local! Comprende?
Best Compliment From Someone I've Never Met
You were cracking me up so bad! I had to hold back! I was afraid my neighbors were gonna hear me!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
好馬不吃回頭草
A good horse never looks back or grazes on pasture it has opted to leave behind.
Self-respect may not be my forte. At least i can say that much about choices and remembering why i made them.
Self-respect may not be my forte. At least i can say that much about choices and remembering why i made them.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Avoidance
It's perplexing how a simple question of "Where are you from?" can inflict so much pain.
An identity crisis is an understatement. To say the least. Ha.
I don't know where i'm coming from, who i am, or where i'm going. Sore spots everywhere. How do i expect to carry on a conversation?
Sore... indeed.
An identity crisis is an understatement. To say the least. Ha.
I don't know where i'm coming from, who i am, or where i'm going. Sore spots everywhere. How do i expect to carry on a conversation?
Sore... indeed.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I'll Eat You Up
In the movie version of Where the Wild Things Are (the IMAX experience did nothing for me), which butchers the book (which i read for the first time a week ago), Carol, with whom Max bonds the most (in the book the wild things remain nameless), thinks their king is gonna ward off sadness and loneliness and keep those evils at bay.
Not so explicit in the book, to say the least.
When Carol discovers the king does not possess those mysterious powers to restore what once brought equilibrium - essentially, resistence to change - he bawls.
I once had a king who kept my sadness and loneliness at bay. I, too, am ill-equipped to change.
Only for me the king and KW are the same person. KW = Kind Wonder
Not so explicit in the book, to say the least.
When Carol discovers the king does not possess those mysterious powers to restore what once brought equilibrium - essentially, resistence to change - he bawls.
I once had a king who kept my sadness and loneliness at bay. I, too, am ill-equipped to change.
Only for me the king and KW are the same person. KW = Kind Wonder
Truism
I read in someone's profile tonight something to the effect of "Be happy yourself, and happy people will find you."
Something along those lines was part of my profile when i started online dating 5 years ago. Somewhere down the line i lost it.
Years later i learned the Law of Attraction and it made sense.
Haven't stopped believing no matter what we call it, but just don't know how to live it.
Something along those lines was part of my profile when i started online dating 5 years ago. Somewhere down the line i lost it.
Years later i learned the Law of Attraction and it made sense.
Haven't stopped believing no matter what we call it, but just don't know how to live it.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Seized 2
How i sign my "V" when i initial has morphed lately - it's turned symmetrical and unapologetic. Now it's like the Dodge Ram logo.
Am i grabbing life?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wit
Am i overweight? No. (The term is arguably politically incorrect. By whose standards? Even though political correctness can irritate the heck out of me so let's not go there.)But the number 38 caught my attention. And played on my insecurities. (This is how advertising/marketing works, ay?)
How'd they know?!?
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Reason I Broke Up With Joshua
Like i am soft tofu, unable to withstand any sauce.
Or maybe he's soft tofu. Unfashionable and ill-fitting socially. Albeit tasty. Couldn't be shared.
We resent the qualities in others we resent most in ourselves, indeed.
Or maybe he's soft tofu. Unfashionable and ill-fitting socially. Albeit tasty. Couldn't be shared.
We resent the qualities in others we resent most in ourselves, indeed.
Saved
Tonight i called Kato to ask what movie in the comedy genre he'd recommended for me today, as i couldn't remember for the life of me, and i had to blog about it.
"This is V," i said.
"I know," said Kato.
Immediately my heart was warmed halfway.
The convo was brief. After i thanked him, he reiterated, "You'll like it."
I'm not remotely interested in Kato romantically (and usually i don't bother reaching out at all unless i am). I'm not even sure, given the cultural (and whatever else) gaps (more like gorges), we're even friends. Not in the real world anyway.
Yet i smiled (inside) tonight having made that call, knowing that he was glad to have had that volatile human interaction, too. Indeed you can hear the smile in a voice.
As i ended the exchange with "I'll see you in the morning", it had meaning, unlike all the other colloquies of your typical day.
"This is V," i said.
"I know," said Kato.
Immediately my heart was warmed halfway.
The convo was brief. After i thanked him, he reiterated, "You'll like it."
I'm not remotely interested in Kato romantically (and usually i don't bother reaching out at all unless i am). I'm not even sure, given the cultural (and whatever else) gaps (more like gorges), we're even friends. Not in the real world anyway.
Yet i smiled (inside) tonight having made that call, knowing that he was glad to have had that volatile human interaction, too. Indeed you can hear the smile in a voice.
As i ended the exchange with "I'll see you in the morning", it had meaning, unlike all the other colloquies of your typical day.
All In a Day's Work 42
I hate when people come in and eat at the spare desk in my office. Actually, only Kato and Marcos do. Without asking. Like they fucking own the place. I tell ya: entitlement i can't stand.
Besides, sometimes (okay, most of the time these days) i'm just not in a social mood.
Well, it won't be my office much longer. So perhaps it don't matter.
Today Kato did it again. Even though i had just returned from lunch, the aroma of his cheddar broccoli soup from Quizno's was unbearably distracting. Perhaps because my lunch only consisted of 5.5 grams of fat, roughly 1/10 the daily norm of someone my size. I was resentful.
Yet i couldn't scream, "Get out!"
To exacerbate matters he wanted to chat. Of course he did. He always does.
I don't know what brought up the food allergy scene in Hitch.
"I have not seen Hitch," i said. "But that was not my favorite scene in the preview."
"You have NOT seen Hitch?!" Exclaimed an incredulous Kato as if i'd commited a capital crime. As he did when he discovered last week i had not seen Gone in 60 Seconds.
"Eh, comedy... i don't know." I said.
"But this is not just comedy," defended Kato. "It turns into a mushy love story at the end!"
I wrinkled my nose, "That makes it even worse!" And i laughed. "... I'm not real into comedy."
"You don't like comedy?!" Asked Kato.
"It's not that. It takes some very good writing to impress me." I shrugged. "And that's usually not the case."
"What kind of movie do you like? Name some." Pursued Kato. "And there'd better be some action flicks in there!"
I rolled my eyes inside. He is such a guy.
"I dunno..." I so did not want to be having this conversation. "Drama?"
"Like? Name a movie," Kato wouldn't drop it.
Christ's sake, i'm his friend on mySpace. I've listed my movies on there. Log on and read!
"A Beautiful Mind?" I suggested. Funny that was the first that came to mind. I had just discussed schizophrenia in the family with Sherry earlier in the day.
Kato hummed. Apparently it didn't ring a bell.
It was so pointless. We're different people. Why can't we just leave it at that?
"What else? What are some of your favorites?" Inquired Kato.
To which i, having lost it, replied:
It's fucking Monday. We're all just gonna die. Who cares what kind of movie i like??
Besides, sometimes (okay, most of the time these days) i'm just not in a social mood.
Well, it won't be my office much longer. So perhaps it don't matter.
Today Kato did it again. Even though i had just returned from lunch, the aroma of his cheddar broccoli soup from Quizno's was unbearably distracting. Perhaps because my lunch only consisted of 5.5 grams of fat, roughly 1/10 the daily norm of someone my size. I was resentful.
Yet i couldn't scream, "Get out!"
To exacerbate matters he wanted to chat. Of course he did. He always does.
I don't know what brought up the food allergy scene in Hitch.
"I have not seen Hitch," i said. "But that was not my favorite scene in the preview."
"You have NOT seen Hitch?!" Exclaimed an incredulous Kato as if i'd commited a capital crime. As he did when he discovered last week i had not seen Gone in 60 Seconds.
"Eh, comedy... i don't know." I said.
"But this is not just comedy," defended Kato. "It turns into a mushy love story at the end!"
I wrinkled my nose, "That makes it even worse!" And i laughed. "... I'm not real into comedy."
"You don't like comedy?!" Asked Kato.
"It's not that. It takes some very good writing to impress me." I shrugged. "And that's usually not the case."
"What kind of movie do you like? Name some." Pursued Kato. "And there'd better be some action flicks in there!"
I rolled my eyes inside. He is such a guy.
"I dunno..." I so did not want to be having this conversation. "Drama?"
"Like? Name a movie," Kato wouldn't drop it.
Christ's sake, i'm his friend on mySpace. I've listed my movies on there. Log on and read!
"A Beautiful Mind?" I suggested. Funny that was the first that came to mind. I had just discussed schizophrenia in the family with Sherry earlier in the day.
Kato hummed. Apparently it didn't ring a bell.
It was so pointless. We're different people. Why can't we just leave it at that?
"What else? What are some of your favorites?" Inquired Kato.
To which i, having lost it, replied:
It's fucking Monday. We're all just gonna die. Who cares what kind of movie i like??
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Aflutter
My mother wonders why i don't visit my brother most often.
Driving there is not a problem. I'd drive 100 miles to see my bro. (Yeah, that's about as far as i can go... due to chronic back pain.)
It's the road home that i dread.
Driving there is not a problem. I'd drive 100 miles to see my bro. (Yeah, that's about as far as i can go... due to chronic back pain.)
It's the road home that i dread.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Stationed
Waited for deliveries at the new place practically all day today. With no internet or booze. Right. You're telling me!
When Denisse expressed sympathy i wrote:
It's one day out of my life. I hafta say it's kinda cool to sit on clean carpet in an empty living room. The view's not bad, either! This is it. The room is never gonna be the same again!*
Afterwards i realized i was living in the present. I was actually savoring the joy in a simple moment, knowing it was unique in time and would never repeat itself.
I was relieved i was still able to do that.
*Paraphrased
When Denisse expressed sympathy i wrote:
It's one day out of my life. I hafta say it's kinda cool to sit on clean carpet in an empty living room. The view's not bad, either! This is it. The room is never gonna be the same again!*
Afterwards i realized i was living in the present. I was actually savoring the joy in a simple moment, knowing it was unique in time and would never repeat itself.
I was relieved i was still able to do that.
*Paraphrased
What's Behind French Doors Number Two?
Bottom freezer. Yeah, baby!
This pic is both Blade Runner and Bicentennial Man to me
Drumroll...
That's right. Sugar-free Rockstar and lemongrass mint vanilla infused water. Doesn't get more Californian than that. And yes, the latter borders on gross. : )
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Slim Window
No one has taught me the value of the dollar. So i keep purchasing iTunes on a whim, not assessing whether i can afford the music.
Without music i will perish. It is not a luxury. And therefore it takes not dispensable income?
My mother has recently commented she couldn't play music while driving - she could do only one thing at a time.
Having music in the background is not multitasking. It is comforting. And necessary. You tune in when you can. If anything it helps you focus. Without it i'd probably crash. Probably would have a dozen times to date.
It is your guide on the stretchy road home. Your sole companion on the lonely road of life.
Without music i will perish. It is not a luxury. And therefore it takes not dispensable income?
My mother has recently commented she couldn't play music while driving - she could do only one thing at a time.
Having music in the background is not multitasking. It is comforting. And necessary. You tune in when you can. If anything it helps you focus. Without it i'd probably crash. Probably would have a dozen times to date.
It is your guide on the stretchy road home. Your sole companion on the lonely road of life.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Quote 191
I'll make the world smaller than small
In the scheme of things where
We're nothing at all
- "The Riddle", Two Lights, Five For Fighting
In the scheme of things where
We're nothing at all
- "The Riddle", Two Lights, Five For Fighting
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Housewarming Present
... to the new homeowner i.e. moi.I feel like a homecoming queen.
There is homo in "homeowner".
Friday, October 09, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Black Birds Have Spoken 8
Vacuuming and dusting in fuschia lace-trimmed mesh undies. And nothing else.
That's gotta be somebody's fantasy, right?
That's gotta be somebody's fantasy, right?
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Monday, October 05, 2009
Setter
I love that over-the-knee boots are in season.When i first saw i thought, "Hallelujah! Warm!!!" I could use that extra inch (or four) of fabric alright.
OK... And they're hella sexy when the knees bend, too.
Photo courtesy Coutorture
