Jolly

Sipping on Reisling right now to celebrate a very happy birthday today. Far better than i would've hoped.

Peeps at work playfully and genuinely wished me a happy birthday all day, starting with a loud one over the PA first thing in the morning, addressing me as "birthday girl" while announcing a call in the day, and repeating the message yet again on my way out. I see the smiles and i can't help but grin in return.

The old store sang "happy birthday" over the phone. Even district ladies whom i've met only a handful of times wished me well, and i could hear the smiles, if you know what i mean. The girl at our Sunnyvale branch sent a fax with drawings of balloons. Got a card from my boss signed with a smiley. I hadn't thought of her as the smiley type. Sweeeet.

Over the past few days, i have received 7 "real" cards, 9 ecards, and 15 emails to extend well wishes. Some from old friends who lead busy lives who certainly don't even have enough time to themselves. Oh and 1 present. And 2 text messages today.

An ecard from my mother! (Several birthdays have gone by in recent years without hearing from her.) And my brother wrote. My brother, who doesn't believe in the tradition of celebrating anything on the calendar.

I truly was touched. I had not expected any of that attention. After all, i have come to expect so little of people in general.

Then the mutha of surprises: JD wrote. JD remembered?!?

I couldn't help but tease him in my reply as he is surely not known for his steel trap of a mind. ("And don't call me Shirley!") (He may not read this, but fond memories are always there.)

When i saw the subject of the email i thought it must've been the result of an MS Outlook reminder or something of the sort. But no. Just plain old human memory. Wow.

As i told JD, if this many people took time out of their lives to reach out to me, i can't be that bad a person.

And perhaps more significantly, people are good-natured after all. As hard to believe as that may be at times.

I'm blissed out. I vow to remember this day. This day will serve as armor to weather suicidal thoughts should they return.