The View Out My Patio Door

A few evenings ago, I stared out my patio door into the sky framed by palm tree silhouttes. The branches danced leisurely to the silent beat that was the spring breeze. The clouds looked amazing. It was quite visually pleasing indeed. I was suddenly taken back to my very first apartment in Chico. I didn't have much of a view then either. But a few trees and a peek of the sky was all I needed. It made me feel connected to the universe. Like i was part of something grander.

If you asked me back then if i was happy, i probably would've said no. But thinking back, i think i was happy. (My memories may have been filtered by now, but let's not overanalyze, shall we?) I was single. I was ridden with depression just the same, but happy. That is not an oxymoron. Because i had peace. I wanted nothing. Contentment. That's the word.

Staring out my patio door, I caught a moment of that peace that hadn't graced me in ages. That was equivalent to a glimpse of hope. I haven't forgotten what it feels like to have peace after all. I was enough. Just me.

I've watched raindrops hitting my fence, making tiny splashes that sparkled in the night. On a glorious day i've caught sight of a rainbow. I've been gratified by many a full moon.

That's all i need. A glimpse of hope. A sense of adequacy. That's a killer view.