Sleepless Rambling 2

Over breakfast on Sunday, Denisse asked me why i don't talk to my mother.

"Uh, because i don't enjoy it," i replied. She chuckled.

So we had a little chat about how impossible it is to please my Mom.

A few months ago, when i started making friends at work and going out with them, i wrote my Mom about it. Essentially, she said:

Making friends is fine and dandy, but GET YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND!

GET CRACKIN'! NOW!

OK... her exact words were, "I'm still hoping for an ideal son-in-law."

And here are the criteria including, but not limited to:

- Of Chinese heritage and fluently bilingual (¿Habla español también? That much betta!)
- Educated and financially established (translation: makes six figures, owns real estate and a well-diversified portfolio)
- Decent height and decent looking; a healthy diet and body mass index
- Parents cannot be separated, divorced, or widowed
- No nasty habits: Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't watch porn, doesn't pimp (in fact, the last no-no is why she hates JD to this day. Ha! Kidding!)
- Never married, never shacked up with a girl. In fact, a virgin. Why, her daughter is a virgin!
- Has friends who also meet the criteria above

To quote her verbatim: "Someone i can proudly present to my relatives".

What? And here i was, thinking it was about my happiness?!