Kindred Spirit, Where Forth Art Thou?

I've been "talking" to a couple of old friends. Old as in since prepubescence. Oh Christ. Needless to say, even though i do feel a tinge of undying love for the girl in them i used to know, we don't have all that much in common any more.

Lately, all they can mutter is, "I can't wait till you come and visit so you can meet [insert name of child here]."

I feel mean-spirited for saying this, but it's true that, once a mother, that's all a woman is for years to come. Everything and every neuron of her being revolves around the child.

Now that's undying love.

I have to say i gotta give them credit for even continuing to communicate. Motherhood must be pure madness.

My friend TW who turned me on to sangria recently got engaged and moved to San Diego. She's been trying to contact me since the announcement and my emailed congrats. I haven't felt very motivated to call her back. I feel bad. I do. I don't know, maybe i am bitter about the gap between me and everybody else widening with each day that goes by. They hadn't set a date and they were already trying to conceive. Oh my Lord. In fact when she left me a voicemail last Friday, i thought for sure she was gonna inform me of her pregnancy. I was literally too petrified to listen to the message until today.

Turned out she just wanted to let me know they're getting hitched come Thursday. Perhaps i can fit it in my schedule to email another "congrats" before the big day.

Another deterrent of a quick response for me is that she never listens. She'll ask, "So what's new with you?" Then just as you're about to share, she goes on to talk about herself. If you want to shamelessly yap about yourself, BLOG! (LOL.)

I did catch myself humming "Here Comes the Bride" this afternoon though.

Indeed there are not many in this world you can have a heart-to-heart with. Without being judged. Or rushed. Or slighted.

Ms. Milwaukee's latest comment on a recent post struck a chord. Isn't it true it's harder to make friends as we age? [Although i must respectfully disagree that gender is an issue.] Plus, in the world today, isolation is the name of the game. What with our cubicles and cyberspace and impersonal telecommunication and all. Not like simpler times (don't you just love that term?) when you wouldn't be deemed crazy for striking up a conversation with a perfect stranger on the way to the town cobbler.

I've gone the route of joining special interest groups online in hopes of finding people i can hang out with, maybe even *gasp* make a friend or two. Sure, having common interests (namely, happy hour, in this case,) may be a start, but at the end of the day there are walls that just would not come down. People are so guarded nowadays, with so many preconceptions. Even i find myself gauging if i'm being over-friendly or over-cautious. It's exhausting, i tell ya.

Last night York II expected me to IM, but i'd rather watch CSI. And honestly, what would we have to talk about? Disappointed, he turned abrasive on me. I'd never seen that side of him. He's not this enlightened, balanced soul i envisioned him to be. He's lonely, just like so many of us.

All this said, with any luck, i'll be checking out a goth club this Friday. As far as making friends, i'm not holding my breath.