Morosity

Had quite a bit of anxiety all day. Perhaps anxiety is not the right word to describe it. Just don't have peace no matter what i do. Constantly feel like i should be doing something else, anywhere but here.

And, above all, unhappy. (Shocking.)

And i'm back in the eat-something-if-i'm-about-to-get-close-to-someone mode. Matt and i are supposed to meet on Friday. I was really looking forward to it over the weekend. Even though, knowing how flaky Matt can be, i won't be surprised if i don't hear from him at all, and Friday just goes by.

At any rate, i'm start to feel it's all pointless. What am i trying to achieve here? It's all just gonna be a giant disaster. I can't handle anything. My life is a complete wreck.

Didn't feel very competent at work, either. All day i found myself going, "I can't do this. I can't do this!" Haven't felt this negative in ages.

And when i get home nothing that i do makes me happy. Can't think of a thing that would. I imagine my family is gonna disown me if i don't come out of hiding soon. And you know what? I don't care.

Perhaps it's the blended malt i had last night instead of my usual vodka concoctions.

Yeah, blame it on the liquor. Not the chemicals in my brain.