Rinds 2

This morning the "coffee grinds" emerged as promised.

I wasn't looking. I felt it first.

It was like slippery latex with goo. Yes, like a miniature used condom. A a miniature used condom that had caught coffee grinds.

Very grateful for the warning, doc!

Incidentally later in the day Dr. Abrahm emailed me with lab results of the colposcopy. BTW Denisse keeps referring to it as colonoscopy even when i have repeated clarified. It is not a COLONoscopy unless you're involving the COLON. In my case, it's the hoohoo?

Come on, she's in the medical field!

OK, I'm a tad cranky.

After explaining thrice I decided to let it go. After all, the woman is on an overseas vacation for Christ's sakes.

I inhaled deeply before viewing the lab results. I guess i want to live after all in spite of previous suggestions.

"Stage 1, stage 1..." I repeated in my head.

In stage 1, there is a very slim chance of the changing cells turning malignant. I think he said 2%. I didn't memorize the figure cuz all i needed to know was single digit, 5 or lower, good. Stage 2 is slightly higher at 12% while stage 3 is at 18%. But it's important to remember that the cancerous development takes years. Possibly decades.

In the email, they're not called stages anymore. I guess the term implies progression and definite doom and it scares people. Now they're called "zones". As in parking your car in the wrong spot?

I'm in both zone 2 and 3.

That is so like me. Can never just be simple and clear-cut. Always want to make an impression.

My heart sank. Even if it takes years. Those years may have started two years ago because with healthcare budget cuts women are now advised to have their cervical screen every 3 years instead of the once a year i grew accustomed to in my 20's. Sure, why rush it if you're gonna take a decade to die?

Next: I'll go in to have those bad cells scraped off.

"Is it gonna hurt more?" I had asked the doc during my last visit.

"No!" Dr. Abrahm assured me. "Probably less. Anesthesia will be used."

Just when i became relieved, he added, "But the needle might pinch."

Needle on the cervix? I shuddered. And i shudder now.

There's a drawback too. Since the post-procedure cervix will become thinner, it is more likely, should one get pregnant, to have miscarriages and early births.

Oh. Well, at least we don't have to worry about that.