... And Goodwill Toward Man

Yesterday during Rob's short stay, i was mean to him. Like in kindergarten, to prove a point, you'd push someone in the sandbox.

JF and i chatted with Mimi*, our good friend in the district. JF made her swear not to let on that she had knowledge of the scandal i was involved in. "We'd get in trouble," JF said.

Let me get this straight: So it's OK for to create a scandal, but sinful to share truth?

Not that the truth really matters. Roxy Hart says in Chicago.

York II left me a voicemail last night. "You're a hard one to catch," he mused.

Yeah? But what did he want with me? I am very unmotivated to call back.

I see i've lost faith in the sheer goodness of humankind.

Last Sunday i watched the first episode of Grease: You're the One That I Want!, yet another audition-type reality show. Reality shows are usually not my thing, but this one amazed me.

"Why do you think you should get the part?" The interviewer would ask.

"Because i want it sooo bad!" The aspiring artiste would reply.

What kind of logic is that?

And then rejection comes along and they get all teary-eyed.

"This wasn't just for me," one said on his way out. "I did it for my Mom."

Aww, shucks.

Heed, hopefuls. Your mere ardor does not warrant desired result. That goes for the romance department as well.

Rob probably thought i was breathing life into his miserable existence, the poor sap. But the belief that someone is gonna come along and change your life is a fallacy. You gotta learn:

1) Hope can be crushing.

2) Why your existence is miserable in the first place.

Do something about it, or learn to live with it.

I've dated, gone clubbing, exercised. Just like my therapists said. And now i've accepted being a loner. Everyone is not gonna understand it. But i accept that, too.


*Not her real name