Lovers' Quarrel, Sans the Love

On Friday the 13th, York II called me in the evening. With the pressure of romance off, we actually had a pretty fun chat. It was always kinda tense before. And we'd run out of things to say. It'd never last for 20 minutes like this night.

Toward the end York said it was hard for him to admit, but he was feeling needy.

"Needy!" i dramatized. "You? Get out!"

He said he longed for me physically.

Tell me about it. Sometimes you just want that human touch. The warmth of another body.

I said if we continued doing this, one day he's gonna tell me he's found someone else, and won't fuck me any more. Then where would i be?

"Well if you change your mind," he said. "You know where to find me."

That actually got me thinking. And i hated that i was weak. He was kinda needy and vulnerable that night. He sounded hurt when he thought i'd already erased his number from my cell.

Later that night he sent me an email that painted a racy picture of us. I cracked up at first. He'd said earlier he'd be trying to tempt me. Then i thought, all this means little to York. It's just something to joke about.

All of a sudden i really wanted those pictures and video clips back. If you know what i mean. I felt entitled. After all, i starred in them.

So i wrote back and jokingly mentioned i needed him to burn me that CD like he'd promised.

I don't remember what it was, but his nonchalent response left me fuming. So i sublimated my hostility with an arguably inappropriate joke that suggested i'd hunt him down.

See, JD wouldn't be offended. JD would know i didn't have it in me to stalk. It's too much work. Summer stakeouts might be alright, but in the cold? No way!! (Another joke York would miss, alas.)

But York didn't know me like JD. I think he was truly scared.

He called me. I didn't answer. I was pretty shitfaced by then. He immediately called me again. So i picked up.

He expressed his displeasure. I tried to explain he didn't have to take my so-called threat seriously.

"You sound like you've had a lot to drink," he said.

"I have," i answered.

For the first time in a great while, i felt shame. I hated that he could tell i was drunk.

York had always known i liked to drink. Just not how much. In retrospect, he probably suspected, but never said anything.

Sure enough, i haven't heard from him after that night.

No CD then, i see.