Hofbrau Nooner

With us bipolars, life is always a case of glass half full or half empty. When i'm manic i tend to recall the moments when i enjoyed life. With simple things. And when i'm depressed, i remember all the times i tried many things with no joy.

Last night i cradled my baby nephew in my arms, hummed and rocked him gently until he stopped crying and fell asleep. He was so soft, so warm, and helpless. I felt like i was protecting him from the big bad world. I instantly felt maternal.

York II once said that, with women, the hormones for bonding and intimacy are more readily released than in men. That's why women tend to attach to sex feelings of love, and are less likely to abandon their children (unless they are extremely depressed/disturbed, of course. IMHO.)

I went to the Campbell Oktoberfest by myself today. I'd invited Kenneth the musician to come along, but he seemed busiest on weekends. You know, gigs and rehearsals and all. I don't think this is gonna work out, with this major difference between us.

Well, i'd always wanted to check out an Oktoberfest. And Campbell was just as good a town as any. So i said, heck with companionship. I'm going.

I have to say this was the first time since JD that i actually, genuinely enjoyed a festival all by myself. I was happy getting ready. Had Shakira on and danced all the way through. I didn't even care what time it was. It was a gorgeous day to be out. Probably the last chance this year to get a tan. As i leisurely strolled about historic downtown Campbell, which i'd never been, i didn't once look at my watch.

Until i sampled some bread dip. Then i realized i was hungry. Out of curiosity, i checked the time. I'd been there an hour.

So i had me a beerwurst with grilled onions. Mmmm... so good! : ) That was being adventurous, BTW. I took a chance, instead of going for a spicy Bavarian, which would be a no-brainer for me.

I saw a sign that i thought said "House of Bras". And i thought, great! I'm going in. Then, as i got closer, i saw that it was really "House of Brass". Dang.

I also passed by The American Consignment Company. Their banner read: "We accept consignments now". Hmm. Now? What were they doing before?

I made three impluse purchases today. Such are the perils of a good mood. Here's what i bought and what they compensated for respectively.

1. Chandelier pearl earrings: Fear/social anxiety
2. Mask, masquerade/carnival style, for the upcoming Halloween bash: Feelings of inadequacy
3. Olive oil/bread dip, 4-pack, baby bottles: Lack of friendship

Actually, there's probably inadequacy behind every single purchase. I mean, i don't need 3 different kinds of olive oil. Who does? (One bottle was a gift to my brother, who loves bread dip.)

And i picked up the latest issue of the Wave Magazine which featured the "Top 25 South Bay Restaurants". So i could believe i'd actually try them sometime. I always pick up this publication for the same reason: so i feel i could have a life; I could get out more.

When i was ready to leave, i'd been there for a couple of hours, petitioned for "No on Proposition 87" (or was it 86? Shit.) and seen a little guy in German costume play the accordian. I really lived it up, didn't i. *Chuckle*... I'm so proud of myself. Already sore from my workout to start with, now my legs really hurt. But in a good way.