A Word to the Wise 2

Yesterday Rosie*, my personal trainer (whoa! that's it, i'm officially a snob) asked me AGAIN if i had kids.

I smiled awkwardly and replied, "No."

"Are you married?" Asked Rosie.

"No," I replied.

What i really wanted to say was:

For your future reference, you twenty-year-old dumbbell! First of all, we're not pals. Don't get all chummy when you can't even remember which body parts we worked on last week. Second of all, can't you tell i'm in my thirties? When a woman is over 29, you don't ask these personal questions. Just as a hen whose biological clock is ticking loudly needs no chirpy reminder from a fledgling. Consider these possibilities:

1. Maybe she's divorced and still bitter about it, in which case it's none of your business and she may not want to share.

2. Maybe she's dating a real jerk but she can't leave him cos she doesn't think she can do better, in which case it's none of your business and she may not want to share.

3. Maybe she's a serial dater, painfully aware that she'll never find Mr. Right, in which case it's none of your business and she may not want to share.

4. Maybe she's given up on men altogether and accepted that she's always gonna be submerged in loneliness, a loneliness interspersed only with a Saturday here and there with her nephews and that's all the kids she'll ever have, in which case it's none of your business and she may not want to share.

5. Or, maybe, she's a flaming lesbian secretly crushing on you, in which case a tight-ass Catholic girl such as yourself probably wouldn't want to know.

At any rate, don't ask, don't tell, don't get personal.

Just thought i'd share. : ) XOXO


*Not her real name