Happy Birthday To Dear Rena*

I went to this kiddy birthday party thing this afternoon. Elsie my sis-in-law invited me. It was a-friend-of-a-friend sort of thing. She's very thoughtful that way. She knows i have nothing going on.

My nephew doesn't get a lot of play dates, but still way more than i've dated in my lifetime.

I accepted the invite because, yeah, it's true, what else do i have going on? And... well, who can say no to free food?!

Once i was done eating though, i looked around and saw all these couples and kids. Nothing but couples and kids.

Oh my god, i don't belong here, I screamed inside.

"Remind me not to come to one of these again for as long as i live," another voice said.

I felt nauseous.

Later on, i learned that Kay,* a friend of Elsie's, had asked her, unable to stifle ridicule, "What is your husband's sister doing here?" She actually used the phrase "tag along".

I mean, what kind of question is THAT?!! Isn't it pretty obvious i must not have anything that remotely resembles a life when i show up at one of these, when i, a single woman, should make like a social butterfly and mingle, just not HERE?! You would think someone as beautiful as herself would be more sensitive.

Ah, but isn't it the beautiful ones that are incapable of compassion. After a certain age, it's like a crime not to have a date to an event. If you can't fit in status quo by being married with children, at least have a date. Couldn't i just wanna be there for my nephew, cos i loved him? Couldn't i just wanna spend time with my bro, even if it had to be done at a despicable kiddy birthday bash?

The three-year-old birthday girl posed and grinned for every picture taken with each present unwrapped. After the fifth present, she resembled a robot.

This is how we learn to be fake. This how we grow up and lose touch with genuine emotions.

Guess what, i'm glad i don't have kids.


*Not her real name