Revelation 19

JD was kind enough to let me spend the weekend. It means a lot, considering just a couple of nights prior, i had called him just to say, "I can't stop crying!..." And then kept sobbing. I don't recall the rest of the conversation.

Saturday morning comes and depression was rampant for the both of us. There was not one thing we could name in the world that could possible make us experience joy. And everywhere we went today we had bad service. People were oblivious.

This is why i stay home alone. People suck. They are insensitive. They hurt you.

When i started thinking of hurt, i thought of Matt again, and how he hasn't made contact since our date. Not even so much as an email to say hello.

I was consumed with rage.

JD and i finally made it home. Almost as soon as we walked in, Fiona*, the damsel in distress JD had been talking to, called.

I could tell by the way JD sounded that it was a girl.

JD only stayed on briefly. After he got off the phone, he informed me that Fiona was jealous.

"I told her that you were gonna come over and we were gonna make chili for the superbowl party," JD exclaimed. "I don't understand!"

Well, i understand. I understand all about stupid jealousy that bears no trace of logic.

To think that i've been jealous of Fiona at times since they met. For whatever unnamable (mafia) reasons, Fiona cannot be with JD. But it doesn't stop her from wanting JD all to herself. Trust me, i've been there.

And i still am there.

All of a sudden i realized how insane it is to want to win over someone to whom we have nothing to offer.

As i took out the trash, i started to feel slightly better about my life. First of all, i'm still capable of taking out the trash. Second of all, if someone wishes she was in my shoes, my life can't be all that bad.


*Not her real name