Who's Your Daddy

My co-departmentee JF has her boombox set on a country station at our office. I wasn't thrilled at first, but i warmed up to it. Before i knew it, i was humming to them honky tonk tunes.

There's this song, "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. I could barely hear the lyrics from where i sat, but what i could make out i liked. They were quite touching.

I was enough for her not too long ago...
And she still means the world to me...
A place in my heart will always be hers...

I finally downloaded the song tonight. As i listened to it in its entirety, i realized it's not about letting go of an ex-lover at all. Rather, it's a father's hymn to his daughter. The realization made me feel like a dirty perv.

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me...
... It's still hard to give her away

I'm reminded of "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle from ten years ago. Impactful stuff.

My Dad really liked JD. During one of my visits when i was dating JD, my Dad shared that he had envisioned walking me down the aisle, many times.

I was all choked up.

It may never happen, Dad.

I put the song on repeat play. I'm moved to tears. Except i can't cry. Thanks to these mood stabilizers i'm on. It's like being emotionally constipated. Well, at least i can stop taking those pills at any time. For some, there's no laxative.