TGIF... Can I Go Now?

Matt was nicer today.

"Gonna party tonight?" He asked.

Planning to go to my online networking thing (aka happy hour with strangers), i replied cheerily, "Kinda! You?"

"I'm gonna clean my house," said Matt. "Well, actually, i'm gonna finish cleaning it."

"I don't start what i can't finish," i responded. "That's a good excuse for never cleaning."

Later, Matt enthusiastically informed us of the Christmas party we're gonna be having this year.

"What about New Year's?" I joyfully inquired. "Are we doing anything?"

"She just likes all the holidays that allow drinking," Matt quipped, addressing JF my coworker, and grinned.

If i didn't have to answer a call right then and there, i would've said:

You think i need an occasion to drink? Think again!

I had to work an hour overtime, so by the time i took off from work i was quite achy and exhausted. I pondered bailing on the happy hour commitment, but i really, really didn't want to drink alone.

As i drove there i felt anything but social.

I ran into the girl i met in group therapy who introduced me to this whole networking thing to begin with. I hadn't been to group since then, so it was kinda awkward. I felt like i was encroaching on her territory. And now she knew it. And from her expression, i could tell she was uneasy too.

But after a few drinks, we chatted like we'd never met before, and neither of us had a psychiatrist.

I had a few laughs; there were some funny people present. But i couldn't help but notice that i had my arms crossed all through the night.

There was this heated debate on whether TiVo or a DVR was better suited for the lifestyle today. Satellite or cable? That's another head-scratcher. Five minutes later, someone pointed out that i'd been "quiet, so [I]must not be into TV".

Haven't you read my profile? I watch two shows. Two. I think my VCR will suffice.

And besides, whatever happened to watching a show at the time it is actually on?

It's true what JD has said. The more we worry about hiding our true selves, the more stupid we come across as. I totally misspoke in more than one instance, and cracked jokes that weren't funny to anyone.

This former DJ in the group had just recently realized that music from the 80's were now "oldies". "That's it," he proclaimed. "We are now officially old."

"Now?" I rhetorically responded in sarcasm. It was as if no one heard me.

It was much easier just talking to Rob one-on-one last Friday. Must be a bipolar alcoholic thing. I wondered what Rob was doing tonight.

I wanted to leave by 8 p.m., but i didn't want to draw attention to myself by being the first one to get up and bid farewell.

To make matters worse, we had to each smile to the videocam and wish someone a happy birthday - someone i had never met. I hate that kind of shit. I can barely do it for someone i do know.

I just really wanted to go home. I almost dashed out, but this guy was in my way. So i went, "Hey, see you at the [i name the event]." He was like, "Oh... i'm not sure..." Chill, dude. I was just being polite.

By the time i got home, because of the hiatus in drinks flow, i was stuck in the purgatory between hunger and nausea. But... nothing that a few sips of wine can't fix.