Inadequacy 2

Last Wednesday i finally saw a physician about my superviral cough after my dentist inquired whether i had a thyroid condition upon feeling my swollen lymph nodes.

I was fine. No bronchitis, either. Thank God i paid $30 to get that clarified.

I told the doctor i was concerned i'd been coughing for over 6 weeks.

The doctor kinda chuckled. "I once coughed for three months!" She said.

Thank you once again, Kaiser!

"The doctor caught me by surprise when she asked me what color my phlegm was," i told Denisse on Sunday. "I mean how many different shades does phlegm come in?!" And i laughed.

"What?" Asked an appalled Denisse. "Of course phlegm comes in different shades."

"I guess i never knew," i responded, my voice lowered in embarrassment. "I don't hock..."

Hocking is one of those things i never learned, like whistling. And not for lack of trying. As soon as mucus landed on my tongue i would gag and would have to swallow it back down. Which, i'm aware, is grosser. After a few attempts i was tearing up so bad, my face flushed, i resembled a practicing bulimic. I gave up soon after.

I suggested to Denisse I would need nothing short of a Pantone® chart to identify my shade. "I could venture a guess. Umm, winter green?" I said.

"If your phlegm came in winter green i'd be very concerned," replied Denisse.