Lost and Found

Plagued by anger (my least favorite negative emotion) and desperate for inspiration/enlightenment, i headed for Borders after work today.

I gingerly walked toward "Self Help". I didn't even know what i was looking for. There was agony in browsing. I spotted this book called "Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can't Find (or Keep) Your Prince". OMG. I was intrigued. But i dared not look inside.

Then i came across Dr. Dyer's "There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem", and i had no problem picking it up. I perused through a few chapters. Finally i read, "If you do not [this and that], you do not know God."

Calling god God is just too Christian for me. I had to put it down.

And so i wandered on to "Religion". Christianity, pass. Catholicism, pass. Judaism, pass. Islam, pass. Symbolically, i arrived at "Eastern Thoughts" last.

I recognized the name Thich Nhat Hanh from one of my Religious Studies classes of recent past. And there's always The Tao of Pooh.

There was even "The Road to Enlightenment" if i would just reach out for it.

I chose not to.

As i walked out, empty-handed, the sun blinded me. I felt instantly overpowered and devoid. Numbly i walked on.

Suddenly i noticed the beautiful topiary-like things that graced both sides of the crosswalk - vine-like, with red bell-shaped flowers (i'm poor in identifying plants). I was grateful to have seen them. What a gorgeous sight in the July sun. The same sun that warmed the skin on my bare arms.

Maybe there's hope for me after all, a soft voice whispered in my head. I don't fully believe it. But it's there.