Revelation 16

Murphy's law. Just when i think JD is never gonna read this blog again, he does. And of course, right after i blog about having sex with someone else.

JD probably doesn't give a hoot.

This is odd. Even before i came home and read my visitor log, i was already feeling a strange wave of sadness coming on. Something quite familiar, of course.

Yesterday i went to my last CBT group session. (See my last post on CBT.) The therapist handed out relapse prevention literature to those who weren't continuing (it was a four-week thing, but you could move on to other CBT groups.)

Even though i had learned a lot about "mood management" during the past 5 weeks (we skipped a week) and i was feeling pretty good about myself in general yesterday, i knew better than to believe depression would never hit again.

Pulling yourself out of an attack can be draining. Sometimes you don't even know what sets it off (probably nothing you can pinpoint), and it's just easier to let it ride than to fight it.

I've been thinking all week that i should stopping seeing York II. The more we talk, the more i feel he just doesn't get me. And that's kinda the cornerstone of everything.

It makes me miss the fact that JD gets me. I hate to admit it.

And i'm not saying this because JD might read my blog again.

This bugs me, cos York II is nice to me. He's a good person. Highly intelligent, almost in an annoying way. And good in bed. You would think a girl couldn't ask for more.

All of a sudden i understand how JD feels about me. You take things apart and you'll think the whole should be pretty damned perfect. But it's... just... not.

Feelings. What a bitch.