Act Your Age

Today I learned to my delight that, in An Unfinished Life, Jennifer Lopez plays Robert Redford's daughter. Thank God she doesn't play his love interest. It's about time. Case in point: Shopgirl. Nothing against Steve Martin. And i'm sure the film is probably witty. But come on, Hollywood, can we spell "gross"? Claire Danes could be his granddaughter for all we know. Meanwhile, actresses start scrouching roles of obscure mothers of teenyboppers, two and a half decades before they hit menopause.

Men don't see this. It's perfectly naturally to want to hump a young'un, right? Roseanne once said, "When a man is 16, he wants a twenty-year-old. When he's 30, he wants a twenty-year-old. And when he turns 60, he wants a twenty-year-old."

Don't get me wrong. I can relate. Many mornings i wake up and feel 14. (At least i've matured since two years ago, when i used to feel 9.) But do i fantasize about boinking the likes of Ivan Shaw? Well... yes. But do i go blasting the imagery on a big screen? No.