Phoebe

This morning i discovered two bruises. The one on my left wrist was from my blade tip puncture. Wasn't expecting one, but oh well, must've gone deep. A first for everything.

The one on the ball of my right fist i couldn't account for. The swell was the size of a pinto bean.

I racked my brain. Were my neighbors noisy? I don't think so. I don't recall pounding on the wall. But i was incessantly pounding on something... What was it?

Ah... yes. It was my head.

Influence 2

I don't understand why heavy drinking results in severe muscle ache. You are so sensitive to touch and pressure it's like you were beaten up and dumped in a ditch the previous night.

I have looked up the correlation and found no insight. Perhaps it's because i look for information on hangovers when hungover.

Seriously. It's like your entire body is in dystrophy. It's ridiculous. My armpits hurt.

By Yours Truly 16

Who knew that the straightness of tempura shrimp was a deliberate act of two or three incisions?

Voilà, tempura!

Snippet 52

Denisse:
(On my version of Thai drunken fish)
That green sauce looked like it was hard to make!

V:
Before the undertaking, i had moments of doubt cuz the recipe looks kinda elaborate. I wasn't sure i could pull it off. But just like life, it's really one step at a time and you're fine.

Snippet 51

JD:
I like when you're not mean to me.

V:
You know... Most people have told me that.

Influence

Last night, i got antsy, and decided to cook some more. Do i see signs of an addiction? It's a resounding yes.

All i had to do was to remove the stems from my shiitakes before stir-frying. I'd been toiling in the kitchen for 4 hours prior, and I'd had a lot of Gewürztraminer in me. (Gewürztraminer is easy going down...) So much that after the stems were off, i kept pressing the blade into my thumb. Numerous times. There were a lot of mushrooms.

Until one deep cut that cast me out of oblivion.

Due to their unique texture, the fungi absorbed the blood in an artistic fashion. It was brilliant. And now i have engaged in autocannibalism.

This morning i observed my thumb in disbelief. I was reminded of a marked cave wall on a desert island where a shipwreck survivor is attempting to keep track of the days.

Don't drink and slice, i guess. Cuz the knife is gonna be sharp. And you ain't.

By Yours Truly 16

Inspired by both a contemporary lime-based dish at Thai Cafe, Milpitas, California, and the traditional Thai recipe of Drunken Fish. The latter being a case of a misnomer, since no alcohol is involved. Named for the availability of the dish where alcohol is served. Our version of bar and grill, i'm sure.

Visually, sorta like the Thai version of pesto!


Thai peppers, my babies! They trounce even the mighty serrano!

By Yours Truly 15

Pork blood as brunch.

As Told To Taylor 3

I am feisty. I have bite. Like horseradish. I'm an acquired taste.

Quote 108

I don't want to hurt you any more than you want to hurt me.

- Taylor

Drip

Sriracha drizzle... It's practically art. Doesn't hurt that you have Quasimoto of a slice of bread for canvas. Nonconformity atop deformity: it screams star quality.

Drift

I'm convinced that Jason*, my seafood person, has a crush on me.

Okay, he is not my seafood person. He just happens to work in the seafood section of my local grocer.

I can't believe it was only February when we first met. Perhaps that was when i started making real food again instead of having one piece of wheat bread with ketchup and sweet relish the entire day. I can't tell ya, since i hadn't tied a ribbon on my index.

I gave him the cold shoulder then because i'm always wary of inquisitive strangers. Oh, and enthused young'un's.

I'd return every Thursday or Friday, and he was always cool and distant. And efficient. So i'd be curt too. Neither would smile.

He hated me. Me in my business attire in a whirlwind to order him around. The jock who towered over me. He couldn't have been more than 26 or 27. A decade my junior.

I don't recall the pivotal point now, if there was an official one. But it would be almost like he'd be waiting for me. Knowing i'd be there, looking like hell after a long day, hair disheveled, lips dehydrated and unretouched. And he'd be eager to please.

Perhaps i live in a fantasy world. But i think i can tell when someone is flustered in my presence.

Two weeks ago, he was on break outside his comfort zone. And i was browsing outside seafood. I was caught off guard and my instinctive reaction to the encounter was actually a heartfelt "Hi!" and a big smile.

It was more than well reciprocated. He seemed pleasantly surpirsed.

Last Friday i didn't need seafood. But i found myself wandering toward the section anyhow. After all, it was a natural turn after wheat bread.

The corner was desolate. You could hear crickets. If there were crickets.

There was a void I felt well into the night.

Today, i actually needed tilapia and tiger prawns (stay tuned for marvels this weekend!) As i approached my passion i saw that Jason was working in the back room.

He was before me before i could say "Tempura!"

He asked me how i was.

"Good!" Was my standard response even though i scarsely meant it. "How are you?"

"Good," Jason replied. "And you?"

We both froze. "Oh," murmured Jason. "I just asked you that, didn't i?"

Then he blushed.

"I do it too," i said. "It's all good."

But for the rest of the transaction it was a real effort to look him in the eye.

It was only when he was weighing my tiger prawns then i scrutinized his name tag to learn his name.

You'd think you could read flustered, huh? After all, blushing is involutary. Unless you're a trained Tibetian monk who has command over your heart rate and stuff... Either he was affected, or he was stoned.

I've said this before: Gimme any object of affection. Indeed.


*Not his real name

Phantasm 2

This week, after i have ceased hearing from Taylor (again), when my Palm Centro hums in the vicinity of my puter, i think it's a supernatural manifestation of Taylor thinking of me.

Quote 107

... it was a sweet smile, they said, none sweeter, so winsome and large it transformed her melancholy face.

- Under the Rose, Flavia Alaya

Quote 106

忘掉天地

彷彿也想不起自己

- "約定", 王菲

Quote 105

償還過
才如願　

閉著目承認故事看完

- "償還", 王菲

Snippet 50

Denisse:
(On my Chicken Primavera, which, i admit, is not Chicken Primavera at all)
Oooooooh that looks really tasty... Did it take long to grill??

V:
Yes, it took a while. Those cuts are thick. And salmonella won't kill itself : )

李宇春

Li Yuchun, 24, who won Supergirl (the Chinese version of American Idol) in 2005, recorded "Green" last year, dedicated to Greenpeace, which became a hit single.

Her name means "universal spring". How appropriate.

One of her causes is to urge the populace to eradicate disposable chopsticks.

When i read the phrase "give up disposable chopsticks", i chuckled inside. I mean picturing an angry crowd rallying over disposable chopsticks is just comical.

But i guess it true it's unnecessary waste, all that wood. I've never thought about it. And yes, wasted wood = pun intended : )

By Yours Truly 14

Lime beef fajitas. My first attempt. The recipe calls for a generous dose of vinegar, white and balsamic. The vapor stung my eyes. It was comical.

First time ever my beef turns out tender. I am very pleased. And with cilantro, my favorite herb on the planet? I practically made myself cum!

Lunch for a week : ) God bless animal fat!

By Yours Truly 13

My own version of Chicken Primavera

Overreached

Yes, please.

Vintage 2

A case of buying the bottle for the philosophy

Axed X

Early this morning i saw my ex-guy-friend Alec* on Yahoo Messenger. Course, he couldn't see me. I hadn't seen him on for months. I mean who goes on Yahoo before 7 a.m.? (Apparently, i do.)

I don't think i've had an xgf before Alec. Xbf's i've had a few, but an xgf is definitely a first.

I haven't blogged about Alec before. Have come close, though. I've elected to refrain. I think there's guilt in turning down a needy one who needed me. Tremendous guilt, as a matter of fact.

I had to sever the ties when, after we'd had a [mutual] agreement to just be friends, evidentally, every time we hugged goodbye he'd bury his face in my neck a little deeper, and longer. And he'd inhale to his maximum pulmonary capacity. Several times.

Don't get me wrong. This is a good-looking guy. And by good-looking i mean Grecian god. Whaddaya know, i'm not shallow. Pat my shoulder.


*Not his real name

Permanently Permeated

Today i have blogged ten times. Ten. I believe that is a new personal record that renders my residency in loserdom certifiable.

Oh, pardon me. Make that eleven.

Diggable Digby

Over the weekend when i came across this cover art, i simply had to sample the album. Didn't wind up buying any music, but whoa, that's graphic design doing its job! I was lured, indeed.

She's literally sitting pretty. And... love that expression! Would you call it mysterious? Or pissed? But with whimsy. All in all just a very inviting composition. Maybe because it's so vulviform.

The album title is Unfold? How apropos!

Makes me wanna run out and buy a new red top, so i can suggest engorgement, too.

Oui, ma belle, i will say it again!

Quote 104

You are more a connoisseur of sarcasm than i!

- JD

Kiss the Chef

If you have been revisiting this blog on a regular basis (the six of you know who you are - LOL!), you must've noticed i have embarked on a culinary journey of maniacally making something new every weekend. Okay, it's a compulsion. (Wait till you see this weekend's menu! Hehehe...)

Yesterday i experienced much anxiety thinking perhaps i should take a break this weekend as my freezer is pretty jam-packed. And i'm running out of Gladware. (You see, after i'm done cooking, i have this nasty habit of having a taste and putting the rest away in a world of ice.) But if i don't cook, life will have lost its last shred of remote meaning!

"You realize most people make food and then actually eat it," remarked JD last night.

Today i defrosted some creations of recent past, and consumed them. Everything always tastes miles more amazing weeks later. And it felt good. Guilt be gone!

So i must credit JD for having given me some very good advice lately:
"Eat the stuff you've made."
and
"Go to bed!"

A Quick Stir-Fry

First time ever i was happy with my shiitake. Tasted like childhood.

Quote 103

I am using this blog to write out my life, so I don't just have to live it.

- Ellie

Quote 102

Yes i see open wounds in everyone i dated

I am no good for you
I'm seeing ghosts in everything

- "Buttons", Some People Have Real Problems, Sia

Preferred Stock 3

I like my men like i like my mushrooms : )

Mellow Yellow

I don't know why but she reminds me of a turkey. I am morbidly drawn to this image and all its odd elements.

Snippet 49

V:
People suck. They all suck.

Taylor:
Why so negative? People don't suck. They just are who they are.

V:
Being who they are, they suck, generally.

What I Texted Myself To Test My New Phone

Hey guess who loves ya?

Snippet 48

V:
(On a fajitas marinade recipe)
I wonder if i replace white vinegar with apple cider vinegar, if that'll suck.

JD:
Oh! I thought you said "white nigger" there!

V:
That would make no sense. That would be a paradox!

Quote 101

When you walk away
i count the steps that you take

- "When You're Gone", The Best Damn Thing, Avril Lavigne

All In a Day's Work 13

I needed Louis' help at work today. As we scurried to my office, he mumbled something. As his joy-to-the-world self.

"I didn't mean you," Louis clarified. "I would never call you a bastard."

Oh, i wasn't even listening.

I've been convinced for some time now i have arrived on the red carpet that is Louis' blacklist. And believe me, I wasn't exactly loving the world today.

So I responded, "Oh, i'm sure there are other b-words we can go for..."

Louis looked up to me with that oh-so-familiar smirk, "Beauty?"

To which all i could say was, "Ha, ha."

By Yours Truly 12

Korean stir-fried seafood, inspired by ohjing-oe bulgogi, the spicy squid recipe.

And it turned out sublime, if i may say so.

My fingertips hurt from dicing those serrano peppers. Oh, those heavenly creatures! They can score as high as 23,000 on the Scoville scale. Whereas Jalapeños are only in the four digits!

If only i'd known goo choo jang ($1.99 a jar) was the key ingredient, and dining out, i was shelling out $12.99 + a pop...

More data to support my hermetic thesis, one might say.

By Yours Truly 11

(Beef) Liver and (Caramelized) Onion

And You May Quote Me 25

I'm alone because...

the illusion of connecting with someone
is all i can deal with.

By Yours Truly 10

My very first attempt at tamago yaki, the Japanese omelette atop nigiri.
As you can see, the layers are FAR from perfect. Haphazard at best if you ask me. But so chaotically artistic, individualistic, and tasty. An analogy to my life. That, ladies and gentlemen, is perfect.

By Yours Truly 9

Basa Kabayaki (my "pretend" unagi) with grilled zucchini and yellow squash

Impeccable

Blessed art thou, Saturday morn.

The only time of the week i am clean-shaven.

A surface you could eat off
and lick clean, too.

Epiphany 13

Canned artichoke hearts (5-7) + Miracle Whip + black pepper + sugar = kinda gross

Bavarian Cookout

When they get really hot, they squirt cheese. I've been told.

Yeah, baby!

Boy, i love sausage. ; )

Quote 100

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

- Anonymous

Inadequacy

I have dry eyes. I depend on artificial tears.

The first time Derek I walked in on me using the drops, he was curious.

"I've been diagnosed," I explained, "Apparent my eyes don't secrete sufficient tears."

Derek guffawed, out of sheer surprise. "I could pinch you really hard!" Volunteered Derek.

Today, staring at my computer screen at work, i ponder: maybe tear production is not the issue after all. I neglect to blink!

A Loner's Concerto 2

I have grown very averse to social gatherings lately.

When i'm in a crowd, i am very aware of being alone.

When i'm alone, i just am.

Greasy-Haired Sundays

Those Life Is Good caps have been on my mind since i saw them at Capitola Beach Co. I couldn't get them then because i'd be a fraudulent advocate of this:

Or this:
Or this:
Which is ironic because once upon a time my online dating tagline was: Laugh. Love. Live.

So tonight i got this:

Heart in moss. That's me at this stage indeed. After all, the heart is unshunnable. Even if i've been consistently shun-happy these days.

Quote 99

I haven't been Clover in a long time.

- Margaret, The Good Shepherd

By Yours Truly 8

I made teriyaki chicken today for the first time.


I followed this supposedly authentic recipe on About.Com verbatim, which called for sake and mirin [a marinade to which i added grated ginger - another first : ) ]. With measuring spoons and all. It's been a while since I've done that. It's a nice break from winging it, even though there is joy in obeying your intuition. My kitchen smelled like a Japanese restaurant. It was awesome! I was euphoric.

The junmai* sake that had been sitting in my fridge was from a trip to the Takara Distillery. There's a time for everything indeed.

And you can't cook Japanese without sipping sake! Perfection engulfs me.






*Literally "pure rice"

What I Learned Yesterday

Mirugai (geoduck clam), one of my favorite sashimi varieties, costs $60.99 per pound. My eyes popped and totally did a double take on the label. Wha? You serious?? Luckily this lil fellow weighs under 2 oz., rendering itself affordable for a Plain Jane like me. Talk about phallic, huh? I imagine the bivalve mollusk turning to me, frowning, "Hey... Who you callin' 'lil'?"

And i was more than delighted to chop it up... I am pretty sure this is not how a sushi chef does it.

Brunch is served.

And You May Quote Me 24

A worse thing than waiting for a plot to thicken is waiting for a sauce to thicken. : )

What I Learned Today 3

Silicone dildos are dishwasher-safe. In fact, running one through the cycle is a recommended method of sterilization between uses.

I guess... why not... Silicone is silicone, whether it is used for fucking or cooking.

I can just picture a phallus on the top rack amidst a pristine dining set. Steam-filled space, jet streams in slow motion so you can see every droplet traveling in midair, only to inevitably fall and drip off shiny curvatures. It's... poetic.

Yesterday

'Tis a very good day when i can have an egg AND a slice of cheese (Egg McMuffin) AND more cheese at lunch (Sicilian chicken on onion herb, large, Togo's).

As my nephew AC would say: Yummy in my tummy!

Fresh Wasabi

Never seen until tonight. Funky-looking things! It is so nice to still have firsts at age 36.83333... Makes me think maybe i should stick around for a while... if i can help it.

Snippet 47

JD:
You're perpendicular to nothing!

V:
I'm not insulted, strangely.

Quote 98

You owe me a day at the beach!

- Laura, The Good Shepherd

Quote 97

Have i drunk my last beer with you?

- "You Have Been Loved", Some People Have Real Problems, Sia

All In a Day's Work 12

A couple of weeks ago, 18-year-old Barry*, plagued with recession-induced boredom at work, asked me, "V? When a customer makes a payment on account, does that count towards sales?"

While that inquiry struck me as hopelessly, inhumanly and blasphemously preposterous, i replied with the winning smile that everyone in the professional world loves so, "No, Barry, it doesn't."

Then, witnessing his plain disappointment, i expressed sympathy.

When what i wanted to say was:

Well, are you selling something? No? Then i guess NOT.


*Not his real name

Quote 96

The more i know, the less i understand.

- "The Heart of the Matter", The End of the Innocence, Don Henley

Quote 95

Music links us all. [It] is audio sex. Liquid connection.

- Taylor