Inflamed

I have ulcerated colitis, an immune system disorder. Basically your antibodies attack your colon as if it were foreign, causing, as the term suggests, ulcers.

Sounds simple enough. But aside from your colon bleeding and shedding chunks of its walls, it also fails to reabsorb fluids. Not only do you get seriously dehydrated from the trotts, your excretion starts to smell like food, your digestive system is so incapacitated. It really is quite surreal sitting on the head, having food come out of your ass.

You are plagued with a constant dull ache in your abdomen, as if you've been punched 25 times consecutively, interspersed with nagging, gut-wrenching pain that makes you curl up like a well-sautéed shrimp. After a while you cannot stomach anything, not even water. Anything would trigger gastric contractions. You are so malnourished, you hurt all over. The loss of electrolytes may swell your lip or your ankles - you never know. You are too weak to walk or shower. You are practically bedridden.

You think to yourself: This is no way to live.

My internalist tells me this is a white women's disease. It rarely strikes any other race.

Hmm. Another proof my identity crisis runs deep: Even my colon wants to be white.