Excess

As expected (and feared), with family in town, my diet goes out of control.

Today i consumed probably five times i would on a "normal" day. (As if me and normal would ever equate! Ha!)

Five is a rough figure. I have not actually sat down and done the math. I am sick but not that sick.

Tonight, just when i was ready to chat with Taylor, he had to get coffee AND WENT MISSING.

After an eternity after he returned and we had a few exchanges, i had to go potty.

And by potty i mean lean, mean, sweet diarrhea. Which took a good half an hour. Every time i'd pull up my pants and wash my hands, i'd have to sit down again.

It was as though my body was saying, "Too... much... food... Too... complex... Can...not compute... Salads and wheat bread only please..."

"Malfunction! Malfunction!"

As told to Taylor:

Apparently i have anal bulimia.

Secretly i was pleased with the colonic expulsion. The power of Christ compels you!!!

By the time i'd had my last round Taylor had signed off. I'D GONE MISSING.

It was as if the cosmos were saying, "Today you shalt not connect!"