Psyched

Today, someone called me an alcoholic to my face. That was a first for me. It was harsh.

I've called myself an alcoholic on here a lot. I guess i've always chosen to believe it's partly a joke. Being called an alcoholic upset me as much as it did because deep down i considered the truth in that statement.

Tonight i decided that, instead of doubting whether i had totally lost control over drinking, i would simply regain control.

Experiencing some restlessness, I wrote JD - i hadn't contacted him in a while, and in so doing i felt selfish. But he is the only one who's shared my experience who would completely understand. And the good thing about writing him is that i don't need to hear back. Cuz i just know he understands. And i will have been heard.

As i would tell Denisse later, the thing about trying to cut a (bad) habit is finding something to do in place of it. It gets tricky. It's summer. There's nothing on TV. TV gets old anyway. This may sound like a joke but i may have to take up reading real soon.

I did turn on the TV anyway. Gotta have something to numb the mind before further enlightenment. Better radiation than intoxication in this case.

And i made it. Not a drop. Now, I'm aware that, if this truly was not an issue, i wouldn't even have to prove it. What can i say, i'm work in progress. I have a pretty strong will. I can do it. I've done a thing or two with nothing but sheer will. I will no longer be someone who "drinks regularly" in her online dating profile.

Speaking of which, did Taylor really think that someone who "drinks regularly" will not, at least some of the time, overindulge?!??