Bite

Tonight i was at my new fave bar while RJ was at his weekly band practice when the hostess (who inherited the establishment from her grandmother) showed off her freshly manicured hands to her patrons.

[She, by the way, had platinum blonde hair down to her waist which reminded me of Donatella Versace (only she was not washed up), and her waist and ass so tight, i imagined she practiced yoga avidly.]

Instead of the white tips in a French manicure, her fingers sported what she touted as "real money".

[The vulgarity of which took off some goddess points.]

Those were strips from a craftily shredded dollar bill so that each represented an essence of the monetary instrument. One had "In God We Trust", another had the summit of the lone-eyed pyriamid, etc.

How clever! Real thought impregnated the design.

"Not all places will do it. You have to ask," explained Tilly*. "It's a federal offense."

"Really?!!" I cried, not caring to appear ignorant.

I knew it was unlawful to photocopy bills. But defacing them? Whom does it hurt?? Is it gonna affect the power of the American dollar in the international market since you've tipped the scale on domestic supply? Hmm.

And the tiny Vietnamese FOB nail vixens knew enough about this to refuse service, and it was news to me? Ouch.


*Not her real name