Explicable

On Tuesday i saw Clarissa* again for my arthritic back.

I like Clarissa. She's cute. And genuinely cares. Dare i say empathetic.

(Even though "empathize" and "commiserate" practically mean the same thing, i associate the former with posivitiy whilst the latter carries a negative connotation to me. It suggests "to share misery"!)

It's a small world, the P.T. field. Denisse has worked with Clarissa. They remember each other fondly. Cute.

Oh, i said "cute" again.

Apparently i was really tense when Clarissa was trying to loosen up my muscles. She kept urging me to relax.

"There," she'd say, and proceed. Seconds later she'd exclaim, "You lost it again! Did you feel that?"

"No..." I'd confess, amazed.

She'd pause the kneading and the pressure. "I can see the band pop!" She exclaimed, probably amazed too i couldn't tell the difference. It was my back!

"Well," I said in my head. "Of course i tense up. I'm afraid you're gonna hurt me!"

But really i wasn't doing it intentionally.

"You have to learn mindful relaxation," Clarissa concluded.

I don't know how to relax? What a shocker.


*Not her real name