Sublime

This evening i played catch with TC a.k.a. Dogu with AC on my lap. I was SO sore from my hike, and AC wouldn't sit still. Mostly because my bony thighs didn't make a very comfy seat, i conjectured.

I went "ow ow ow" in my head. But i loved him and it meant so much to me he actually liked me that i wouldn't have it any other way.

Misaiming, i threw the ball askew and it landed on the dining table. Color-blind TC searched high and low behind the table, all worked up, sniffing diligently, never suspecting he was nowhere near warm.

I felt so bad. Had AC not been on my lap, i would've totally gotten up to fetch the ball for TC, and let the game resume.

"I have created misery," i sadly thought as what felt like 5 minutes had gone by, and TC was still on his quest. I felt guilty.

Then it occurred to me that maybe TC was not suffering. Maybe this was what TC was meant to do. Maybe, not finding is not necessarily an occasion to be avoided, for searching is not necessarily a journey to get over with.

Maybe misery is an energy that can neither be created nor destroyed, but just gets recycled.