Pull 2

For a few months, my relationship with Alley had turned ambivalent. I no longer felt affectionate toward her. At times she'd make me laugh with her silliness, but mostly i didn't care for her company. When she wanted attention, i felt no patience.

Denisse is getting a red-haired toy poodle. She's picking her up this Sunday. Ever since word came that she was becoming a dog owner, I, too, found myself checking out pet ads, helplessly aware i was nowhere near ready for one.

Didn't keep me from lamenting, though. When i told RJ i wanted a dog, he remarked, "You have one!"

"I don't like this one!" I thought. And surprised myself.

What kind of a person am i if i don't even like a dog? An innocent creature who just wants some love, like the rest of us.

The lack of affinity continued to worry me. Especially considering i started out pretty fond of her.

To compound the uneasiness, i was feeling blah in general. Having returned from vacation, it was time to face the music and contemplate my next career move. I have not the faintest idea. And i hate that i don't.

Last Sunday i saw a Fidelity Investments ad in the paper, the slogan along the lines of "Helping you reach your goals". "That's great," i thought. "I have none."

The Monday before last, RJ and Alley had come back from the vet after a visit for heartworm meds and other neccessities RJ could not name, when a delighted RJ announced, "Turns out that the vet can board her!"

In my mind we'd been postponing a weekend getaway because it was a pain to find Alley temporary lodging. RJ was led to believe that he'd need to name a local contact in case of an emergency while we were out of town. He could name no one this side of the Mississippi.

A couple of days ago, i hung out on the back porch, savoring what remained of summer. Alley was her giddy self, galloping around and stopping in her tracks once she heard something. At that sunny moment it was as if there was a visible aura around her, her bushy, squirrel-like tail all fluffy and completing her silhouette of perfection.

As told to RJ later: i realized i'd been harboring resentment toward her which had then dissipated since she was no longer the ball and chain.

Still, when she would charge toward me in the subsequent days, my reaction would be, "Ugh, what do you want?!"

This afternoon, i came home from errands with several bags, one of which contained a red snapper and pork backbones, the latter of which i had bought as a treat for Alley. Okay, so maybe i care. I had decided to deviate from the ho-hum chicken gizzards. After all, dogs want bones, no?

Alley greeted me, panting excitably. Immediately she stuck her snout amongst the bags and intently sniffed the fishy one. And got even more worked up.

Instead of rolling my eyes, thinking, "Of course you can smell it. You're a dog!", I realized how she always seemed glad to see me, whether or not i was bearing gifts, and i thought, "Shit, she does like me!"

(I just looked up and saw that the outside temperature is 66.6° F right now. A sign?)

The very first time i went with RJ and Alley to the field where they play catch, a pathetic first attempt made me conclude that Alley was too strong for me to walk her. That has bugged me all this time.

Lately i've been wanting to try again. Gonna have to take her to the vet when RJ's not here.

"Start in the backyard," suggested RJ.

"She's gonna feel gypped... To be restrained where she usually roams free! " i said. See, RJ doesn't walk Alley for the sake of taking a stroll. When he puts a leash on her, she's hopping into a car and she knows it. "I don't want her to feel gypped," i said with a cracked voice.

Well, without much deliberation, i decided that it wasn't giving her false hope if we both headed out back, and without my contriving, she came to me.

She ran around, happy as a clam, her long, flat tongue hanging out limp and flapping while i stood there, leash in hand, without coercion.

After she'd circled and dashed by me a few times, i was convinced it was not gonna happen.

Then, with grace, she approached me and sat at my feet with anticipation in her eyes. My heart raced as i gently put the collar on the compliant beast.

Praises. And more praises. She seemed to be in good spirits. And so was i!

Before long i knew it was time to venture out. RJ called me "intrepid".

"Indeed," i replied.

Alley and i walked the neighborhood. The weather was moderate and pleasant. Strangers smiled at us. I embraced the goodwill and sense of purpose. I enjoyed being existent. Albeit arguably briefly.

It was not effortless. She was still half my weight. My arms hurt after a while. She was a force to be reckoned with. I'd say, "With me!" like RJ does, but it just felt fallen to deaf ears. However, the instant i was able to stop her from chasing a cat, i knew i had arrived.

It was triumphant. She was my bitch after all.