Smothered Brisket

Julia Child's recipe, modified.

Porcine 13

Lunch with RJ Yesterday

Seafood ceviche on tostada

Quiche with mushroom, spinach and squash, with potato leek soup

Gyro and feta fries with mustard aioli

I know, totally incoherent! That's what i love about California!

You Know You're In Trouble When...

You Dogpile (i don't Google) "things to do when bored", and the search results bore you.

Quote 221

在我的人生中，只有兩條路，要嘛趕緊死，要嘛，精彩的活著。

－ 劉偉

Snippet 172

RJ:
I've distilled the secret of keeping you happy: the 3 F's.

V:
Feed, fuck...

RJ:
Fuck, feed, flex.

V:
Flex?

RJ:
Flexible.

...

V:
Feed before fuck, in order of importance.

RJ:
Fuck before feed, the chronological order today.

Gem 2

Accessories with larger-than-life elements are all the rage now. As a Glamour fashion editor claims, referring to a current Anthropologie design of a hefty necklace she owns, "[It] always makes a statement."

I think the only statement wearing bulky baubles makes is: i wear bulky baubles.

Black Birds Have Spoken 9

Has this ever happened to you? In the silence of the morning, you're cold even under the covers. You're in pain (you always are). Your bedmate is emitting heat... yet not radiating. But it's way early to get up. And so you just lie there, still, enveloped and chilled, such that you are highly aware that the back of your head and your upper back are prickly.

Disquietude

Sometimes, when a food item is about to expire, I feel relief.

Quote 220

I must confess I
like us best
Undressed.

- Howie Day, Sound the Alarm

Snippet 171

V:
I've probably been complaining too much lately.

RJ:
I'm not listening. I'm just watching you, thinking how lucky I am that you're complaining... here.

Netflix Moment

I swear i wasn't even planning it. I just finished rating tonight (out of boredom - just something to do), clicked off, and there it was, staring at me!

Phrasing

This expression has got to go: "That being said..."

If anything, it should be "That having been said..."

Cuz by the time you're on with the second sentence, you're done saying the previous.

I prefer "That said".

Mundo Mio

In that "Do Re Mi" Song in The Sound of Music,

"La, a note to follow so"

I'd like to replace with

"La, a Spanish article".

That has bothered me for years.

Awe-Ite 4

Pre-Op called me yesterday afternoon to gather medical history information to relay to my near-future anesthesia administrator. It was embarrassingly and annoyingly low-tech of them. Besides, Don't you have my file?

About 3 minutes into the conversation, I was asked, "Have you had, or do you now have cancer?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied, choking back a laugh. "That's why i'm having the operation."

"That's why you're calling me i thought?" I wanted to quip.

Later the gal wanted to know what was the most strenuous exercise i had in a regular week. She gave me a couple of examples: grocery shopping; walking...

That threw me off. Exercise? Does sex count?

Umbra

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova of The Swell Season, two of my favorite musicians, were performing at The Mountain Winery last Thursday when a San Jose man in his early thirties dove from the roof onto the stage, about 30 feet, to his death.

Needless to say, they couldn't continue singing afterwards.

As if committing suicide is not selfish enough an act, the guy had to poop on everyone's party. That is an outrage!

The incident was at 10 p.m. As told to RJ, at least it was toward the end of the concert.

Spicy Lamb Stuffed Squash

Homecoming

SBUX Mooncakes

The Best Galoshes Ever

Aigle

Horseshoe Bread

Shrimp Roe

No Caption Necessary 17

Porcine 13

Last Day

Melted chocolate over espresso

Pepperoncino


Ostrich

Jimmy Dean Stuffed Squash

Quote 219

Those who cannot remember the past
are condemned to repeat it.

- George Santayana

Sleeve 2

I notice that lately my posts have been all bitchin' and moanin'.

You can't blame me. My stay in Asia has been trying.

Some FB friends have commented that i'm "home" this summer, referring to my visit in the town where i lived till age 16. That was 23 years ago. I am more than slightly irritated.

I've been very tempted to reply, "Yes, i am in City M now. I'll be home next Wednesday".

I just want to go home.

Snippet 170

V:
Iced black* coffee to go, please.

Clerk at McDonald's:
Coffee, black?

V:
Yes, to go.

Clerk:
Hot, right?

V:
No, cold.

[Clerk runs transaction and, 45 seconds later, delivers item.]

V:
[Sees that item is creamy]
Umm, "black". No milk?

C:
Oh! That's right!
[retrieves item]


*This specification is indispensable in Asia (which i learned the hard way). Sometimes you even have to say "black coffee, no syrup". Sigh.

Drawn

Last night, in light of tourism promo programming on TV, i asked my Dad where South Sand was. (I would later learn it was the coastal region of Canton.)

My Dad, an ex-high-school-teacher, started a lengthy tale of South China Sea all the way up and out to the Pacific, and numerous islands that are in these waters. Within 30 seconds i had stopped listening, as i let him go off on a tangent for another minute or two, as he does a lot, usually leaving me regretful of having asked a question.

I would've said, "South Sand is the part of Canton that faces the sea, and the islands of the same name."

Sigh. Being concise is not my Dad's strong suit indeed.

Speechless

The other night, on the cusp of ordering dessert, IN, one of my oldest friends, explained to me what crème brulée was.

I was incredulous and offended. What about me suggested i wouldn't be familiar with this item?! Who doesn't know what crème brulée is?! Really??

But it would be beneath me to throw a fit. So i just kept my mouth shut and nodded.

I have bitched about this before. If i don't know, i'll ask. Save the addendum!

Child development experts of this century advise against baby talk with toddlers learning to speak. Instead, adults are to converse with them as if they already understand every word we're saying. Children get a better sense of language that way and learn quicker.

I would think adults deserve in kind.

Dear Diary 4

Aug 13, 2010

Met up with some old schoolmates tonight, one of whom i hadn't seen since age 15. Thought i was never gonna see her again.

A party of five, and all but myself are married, one with children. The topic of childbearing and age-related higher-risk pregnancy came up.

IN, one of my oldest friends (we met in fifth grade), someone for whom i have tremendous admiration and respect, someone who stuck by me when i treated her like dirt, a dearer friend than i deserve, mused after admitting that she really wants children even though her husband blatantly objects the very idea:

I truly believe that no life is perfect. Take me: besides childlessness, I have more than I may have ever imagined. If the cosmos bless me with such abundance and reserves one item, I couldn't ask for more.

Such wisdom greatly moved me. What grace and insight! Many tend to focus on regrets and wishes instead of what we already have at our disposal.

At that moment, RJ came to mind. I was overcome. I've often said i am hardwired to be sad. At any given moment (when I'm sober), there's that great sense of loss AND being lost - to the extent that without having a concrete thought, I can become near tears for seemingly no apparent reasons. A while back i arrived at a point where i didn't want to investigate that sadness anymore. I just drowned it.

Tonight i thought, even if that profound sadness is to remain a nameless mystery, i have the invaluable gift of RJ's love. All that sadness may not instantly melt away, but what has been lost i can leave behind.

Sequential

Jojo has been engaged 5 days and already she is running around planning her wedding.

She's been glowing. The same has been reported of me. Women in love. That's how we roll.

I haven't seen her this happy since, well, her first wedding. That was 21 years ago.

She's one of those women who cannot and will not be alone.

We grew up together. Until we grew apart. She was the big sister i never had. That bond is always gonna be there. Even if we haven't spent any quality time together since i was in college (the first time).

As it turns out, we're even having cervical issues simultaneously. AND we're both having an excision in September. What are the chances of that?!? The only difference is hers is precancerous and mine is, as my doctor said, "technically cancer".

Ha! I win!

Another difference is that she's told my parents. I don't plan on doing so (unless i'm dying). I'll let her take the spotlight.

Jojo just moved from Belgium to my parents' Asian town about 4 years ago. Not only did she take over my retiring mother's supervisory position at the firm she'd stuck with for 5 decades, she's become my parents' daughter.

It's only befitting as Jojo has the kind of outgoing, tactful, street-smart personality that my mother wishes i possessed. She's stepped in and been what i could never be.

I am ambivalent about this. Not like i want to move to be close to my parents. Yet i am jealous.

This explains the paradox that is Amelia that RJ has been attempting to understand: you may not want to be with someone, but it doesn't mean you can let them go. (She's been working on it and seems to be much better these days.)

An excited Jojo makes wedding photography plans. She never had that luxury of professionalism at her first wedding. She wants to make up for lost time.

"That's all i ask," Jojo tells me, grinning, imagining gowns and locales. "Everything else i have had and done." She wasn't even expecting an engagement ring. (She got one.)

I, too, again uncannily, also had a makeshift wedding when i was young. Nothing that a little girl may dream of, i'm sure.

Listening to Jojo's musings, i surprised myself with a lump in my throat. Tears welled up so fast i had to bite my lip.

I realized, with all the similarities shared between Jojo and me, i, unlike her, may never have a chance to make up for lost time.

My Dad Makes Dinner

Green beans sautéed with pork neck, black-pepper sausage and assorted seafood.

My Dad's Venus

Such a humorist

Jojo's Thong On Abalone Noodle with Chicken Broth

More Alimentary Adventures 6

Burmese noodle in hot and sour broth with squid balls

Proudly had hot made-to-order street food for the first time as an adult. I consumed this sitting on a plastic stool on the sidewalk, not caring if anyone should stare. And no one did. And OH-MY-GOD SO good!!!!! So piquant i cried. Probably would've cried anyway, i was so moved!

Scene and Heard

It's curious napa cabbage should be objet d'art!

A jadeite grandfather clock with Roman numerals. Now i've seen everything.

Saturation 2

During the two weeks i've been visiting the 'rents in the subtropical zone, the weather forecast has been pretty much the same everyday: 82% humidity, 28° - 33° C, with a chance of thunderstorm.

Leaving for another city tomorrow and hadn't been rained on. Thought i was home free. Until this morning.

Many were caught without an umbrella or raingear it seemed. As fast as i could sprint and with all the awnings i found myself dodging under, i was drenched in no time. And not a taxi in sight even if i'd succumb (my norm would be to take the 20-minute walk all the way or take the bus). Of all days i had to pick today to wear a white top with fabric as delicate as a whisper. Before long i caught a man driving by in a truck sloooowing down to check me out. I looked down and realized: i might as well have been in a wet t-shirt contest. And i would have won, too.

Finally boarded a bus. Miserable and cold in the air-conditioned space. I thought i could tough out the 5-minute ride. I sat without fidgeting about the droplets all over my arms and legs, my dripping hair and the clothes stuck to my body.

"Do you have Kleenex on you?" A woman's voice asked. I looked across to meet the eyes of a very concerned stranger, probably my age. She was no career women, that was for sure. You could tell from her attire as well as the fact that she was on a bus at 9:50 a.m. (I don't think flex hours are huge in this particular town).

"You are very wet," continued the woman across from me.

In another context this could be a fantasy come true. At this moment in the confines of a city bus, though, i was plainly embarrassed.

"I do," i managed a smile as i replied.

Then awkwardness set in. I swear the next few seconds were played in slo-mo. It was as if silence befell the bus there and a spotlight was shone on me. Everybody held their breath awaiting my next move.

Action.

Naught.

For a sensible grown woman surely would not op not to dry herself off when equipped with the abundance of facial tissues! It's the only logical step to take!

And thus i slowly unzipped my purse, reached in and did the right thing for the audience.

The woman got off the bus soon after.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Had lunch with relatives i see about every 5 years on average. More showed up than i was expecting. I felt uneasy. One can't be oneself and order or consume with all abandon at dim sum when food is rationed and shared amongst those who are, for all intents and purposes, strangers.

Conversation was insipid as usual and i couldn't wait till it was all over. Loneliness in a group is the worst kind.

Found relief in a rest stop escape the end of the meal. Almost didn't want to step out of the restroom after. As i exited, one of the restaurant hostesses was about to enter and we almost bumped into each other. We kinda made way at the same time and through. Awkward.

As i was about to speed up to leave the awkwardness behind, a young, feminine voice called my attention from behind me, "Miss..."

It was the hostess, of course. I semi-reluctantly turned around with question marks popping up all over my face. What could she possibly want?

"Your skirt is..." She said quietly. "Stuck..."

I reached behind and, knowing full well what she must mean, pulled at the hem that had been tucked in my thong unintentionally. Uh, that would not have been pretty: my butt on display in public. (OK, maybe that would've been pretty. But not classy.) (I had considered after i'd put on the skirt this morning that perhaps i should've picked boyshorts instead. Just in case i pulled a Marilyn Monroe.)

Slightly mortified but genuinely grateful, i thanked the young hostess wholeheartedly, and she responded politely and yet just nonchalantly enough, as if to spare my feelings by brushing over the devastation of the potential calamity that could've been.

Disoriented, i returned to my table, not feeling my legs under me.

Two random acts of kindness by strangers in a day. Wow. It wasn't the hostess' job to save me, nor the commuter's obligation to care about my comfort level. Maybe my people are not as hopeless and dispicable as i have thought.

Winger

Accompanied my Dad to a concert last night. Amateur city and not my cup of tea. As told to RJ later, the participants didn't know the first thing about the art of song and dance. 'Nuff said.

What is the first thing about the art of song and dance? Talent.

For the absence thereof there was an attempt to mask blatant reality with ridiculous costumes, sound blasting and lights on speed that didn't go with any theme. Wait, that's right. There was no theme.

5 minutes into the garish show, Jojo snapped a shot of the performers on stage.

And then she tapped me on the shoulder. I was annoyed.

She turned her camera to show me that snapshot on display.

Uh, is that really necessary?! I was just there!

Muga-Mushin 4

"The universe was born with me
All things and I are one."

Brick

Imperial Manchurian announcement


"Passion Lane"

How I Feel At Times 9

Pop 3

That's A LOT of collagen.