As Told To Denisse 14

'Tis the season to have a bf since there's nothing on TV!

Vignette 23

Went to lunch at BJ's the other day with the fam. As usual, i get the table, AC and Elsie lag behind, W parks the van and takes OC in later.

As the hostess sat the 3 of us, she glanced at AC in tow and frowned, confused.

"You did say two kid's menus, right?" The girl verified.

"Yes," I replied with a smile. "The second one is imaginary."

Quote 196

Always there's that
space between what you feel
and what you do

and in that gap all human sadness lies.

- Blue Dog, George Rodrigue and Lawrence S. Freundlich

Boneless Leg of Lamb

Minimal Holiday Spirit 4

OK maybe by now it is not so minimal : P

Transitory

Coming home tonight, i missed the old place with the carport setting such that, as i exited the car, i could look up and see the stars in the sky. Before i (slowly and almost reluctantly) walked home and shut the world behind me.

I would savor the (brief) moment. Alone.

Now i have a gated garage with two designated parking spots, one of which is never chronically occupied.

I know. Cry me a river.

But i miss the starry, starry night, Vincent.

Priorities

A lesson taken away from curtains:

You start with something you can live with.

Don't bitch.

Then someday you can go for something you can be ecstatic about.

Minimal Holiday Spirit 3

Ham in a cup

Snippet 129

[At company potluck]

Mildred:
Don't you wanna sit?

V:
No, i wanna stay right here where the food is.

Galaxy On a Toe

Minimal Holiday Spirit 2

Zooming Out @ Chevron

The structure is five feet off the ground. Who can mount it, a ninja??

Lunch with Denisse & Ethan*

*Not his real name

Resonance

I do!

Wait. I never grew up.

Sipping Art With Taylor

Snippets

[at Bocce Ball with my ex-crew]

Stewart:
[on how to tell his steel balls from Lewis']
There are two kinds: single lines and multiple lines.

Lewis:
Mine are singles. Single for single malt.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Stewart:
V! You're still doing tequila shots?

V:
That's the definition of alcoholism: either you don't start or you don't stop.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

V:
[on goodbye hug fest]
Aww... The guys are so sweet!

Nadie:
I'm cold.

Snippet 128

Taylor:
Dogs need a lot of validation. If they were human they'd be hugely dysfunctional!

V:
I should be a dog!

Pop 2

It's amazing.

It's a Prius.

It controls the distance between you and the vehicle ahead.

Push a button and it parks itself.

It's amazing.

It's a Prius.

It's for idiots who couldn't drive for the life of them.

Tender

Has Taylor viewed my blog?

I don't care.
It's a blog. Not a relationship.

But i nurse it better.

Snippet 127

V:
If i was a treetop angel i'd wear opaque underwear!

Elsie:
I didn't see her underwear!

V:
She doesn't have a crotch!

Spicy Ahi Tuna Tempura Roll

Snippet 126

V:
Every time i walk by that figure atop the [holiday] tree i get a Halloween idea: Stick a light bulb under my dress and... Voilà! I'm a treetop angel!

Sherry:
Better hope it's not raining or you'll be electrocuted!

V:
That, and... Wear opaque underwear!

Domesticity 2

Used my stovetop for the first time...

... and cracked an egg

My Destined Residence

Baggage

This Anthropologie bag is standing in for my breakfast bag until further notice.

Because i really wanna reserve my green bag for fun purchases and excursions. God forbid work should contaminate it.

And also because i'm too cool for Arden B. and Ted Baker.

As Tweeted 8

Listened to love songs i heard growing up so i may understand why my view on love is so skewed.

Snippet 125

V:
What's that smell?

W:
Did someone pass gas?

V:
Not me!

W:
Who passed gas? Did you pass gas, AC?

AC:
[On his Leap Frog]
I'm too busy!

And You May Quote Me 57

Loneliness weighs on me like a raincoat wet on the inside.

Can't Twitter Or Facebook 3

Acyclovir is not curbing my herpes outbreak this time.

Plaid

Before i moved, i drove by Apple everyday.

Apple = Taylor's place of employment. It drove me nuts.

I looked forward to when i wouldn't have to drive by Apple anymore.

Then i moved. And work moved.

Now i see the Middlefield exit everyday.

Middlefield = Taylor's residence

Just can't escape Taylor, it seems.

The Flaming Dragon

Sliver

Lunch with Me Myself and I

Satay glass noodle with fish balls in a clay pot

And You May Quote Me 56

I feel estranged from love.

Real Estate

The Berkeley kids are at it again. Always have to make waves.

They think the Wheeler Hall should be open 24/7 during finals week, when it closes at 10 p.m.

"We're studying for the finals," says one vehement student. "The premises are here for us students. And here we are, students!"

Well, hello, liability issues? I'm sure in this economy there isn't enough manpower covered by the state budget to police the campus all night.

Young folks can be SO overentitled.

I understand. You pay tuition. Guess what? When you rent an apartment, you don't get to access the laundry room or rec room or pool area 24/7, cuz you know what? The landlord has the final say. I'm sure it's real inconveniencing on your end. But, hey, you don't own that property, punk ass.

So suck it up like the rest of us.

I'm sure, 20 years ago, i woulda sided with the students. I'm not sure this is a sign of wisdom but it sure as hell is a sign of age.

Snippet 124

Sherry:
Don't you get bored with the same lunch everyday?

V:
Yeah, i do.

My Universal Question 4

Who is draining all your energy?

Not a Bad View 4

Minimal Holiday Spirit

Unquenchable

I learned fairly recently that you'll know when you've had enough water when your pee comes out clear with not a tinge of yellow.

Really?!! I guess i've been dehydrated all my life.

Vignette 22

Denisse is not a fan of the holiday season. Today, when "Do You Hear What I Hear?" came on the radio, she went, "Eeek!" and quickly changed the station.

"Certain songs i can tolerate," said Denisse. "But not all of them."

"I've always hated that one," I chimed in. "It's stupid. 'Do You Hear What I Hear'? Unless you're hallucinating, i'm probably hearing what you're hearing!"

Snippet 123

Derek II:
I can't make racist jokes anymore. Nadie* is way too nice!

V:
You don't have any scruples talking shit about Mexicans around here!**

D:
They haven't been enslaved!


*She's from Nigeria
**80% of our crew is Hispanic

Snippet 122

Derek II:
V! Don't cough in the background while i'm on the phone trying to get a customer to pay up!

V:
I'm dying... I'm sorry if my impending death inconveniences your collection.

Fall Colors

Snippet 121

[Derek II disconnects phone call with Information]

V:
Did you not get what you wanted?

Derek:
I did.

V:
I thought you hung up angrily.

D:
I did. I didn't say goodbye. She was just an operator. I reserve my politeness for people i care about.

V:
I.e. people who can get you fired!

D:
(cracks up)
That's true.

Resonant

I've looked everywhere. There's no emotion i can recycle.