Lorey*, my new best friend at work, resigned two weeks ago. Last Friday was her last day.
I hadn't made a new friend in years. It's not easy, the older you get. But it was clear the moment we started talking. We were alike in various uncanny ways. In my ripe age, i sense compatibility from early on, whether it's a romantic interest (those days are gone) or a kindred spirit.
Even if she sometimes doesn't get sarcasm.
On Monday, my day off, I got treated for chronic back pain. For the two days that followed, I was conveniently plagued by aggravated excruciating pain that physically blocked me from reporting to work. Maybe I just didn't want to be there if Lorey wasn't gonna be around anymore.
I've never dealt well with loss.
The day is long. There isn't much one can do when one simply can't sit. By the end of the afternoon i was feeling so listless i was actually looking forward to returning to work, even if it may hurt a little.
I hear from Lorey all the way from the other side of the world, the Eastern Hemisphere, where she's vacationing.
We muse about working together again someday, maybe having our own business.
I feel like i'm in grade school all over again, chatting with a girlfriend, dreaming big. It's gonna get so much better! It's gotta!
A fantasy or a remote goal, that notion fuels hope.
Earlier i came across a cartoon a friend had posted, of an older, wheelchair-bound woman, whose shadow on the wall is dancing, one arm in the air, the other hand picking up the hem of her dress just a little, a silhouette of joy and abandon.
The caption read, "It matters not how others see you. It matters how you see you."
Half-truth? So we can condone being delusional if it gets you through the day?
I can get on board with that.
*Not her real name
