The Descendant

Today I met with Martine to bid her farewell. It was a dreary day: rainy, windy, gloomy.

She was 10 minutes late and a part of me wanted to leave. I was starving and the server had failed to bring bread at my request. I don't do hunger well.

But she did show up. She had gotten lost, arrived at a wrong lot and had to go all the way out to almost the freeway before she was able to turn back.

As I mentioned in my last post, we'd had only 3 workshops together. This was our 4th meeting. And pretty sure our last one.

She was asking me a lot of questions as if we were meeting for the first time. She had completely forgotten all these background inquiries had already been covered previously.

On the topic of friends, I made the casual (and true) statement "I don't have friends". And Martine's reaction couldn't have been more traumatized. Not having friends is that unimaginable to her.

Then I had to explain (again) how moving around means fewer friends, and friends move away. And coworkers don't stay friends. I've been on Meetup; I've tried. Nothing sticks. Etc., etc., etc.

She's in her twenties. She goes to church. She'll always have friends. I forgive her for not being able to fathom the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. In my experience, in this part of the world, it is true.

She was genuinely touched that I insisted in buying her lunch as her going away present since I had nothing else to offer.

"You are so nice!" She exclaimed. "Why don't you have friends?!" She sounded wholeheartedly incredulous.

In my mind I said to her, "Ask yourself. Why aren't I your friend?"

Such irony.

I would also like to know. Am I too old? Because I am not Christian? Wrong vibe?

Some things you cannot quantity to analyze. You will only drive yourself crazy.

No acrimony though. She's not my friend. I can accept that.

As we were parting ways in the parking lot, Martine mumbled that she'd be back in this area as they hadn't sold their house yet, and she had cousins here...

"I'll bring you pastry from Le Ciel* when I come to visit," she said as she walked away.

She did not even ask to take a selfie with me.

And I knew that this would be the last time I ever saw her.


*Not its real name