Flux

Got engaged yesterday. Was proposed to, on a beach, with a ring and everything. I was so giddy with the development I giggled for what seemed like minutes. And there is photographic proof of it.

I've never been engaged before. I've been married, but not engaged, or proposed to with a ring. How that was I couldn't tell ya.

All afternoon I wanted to Tweet to announce to the world I was spoken for. Isn't that a little conventional for supposedly quirky me? A little non-feminist? No, it is human to want to be wanted. And I need not my private life be advertised to strangers.

To further indulge in tradition, I had RJ get a bottle of bubbly to celebrate with a rack of lamb which I'm cooking tonight.

It has now been twenty hours since I wrote my mother with the news. I know, email = impersonal. But i just couldn't bear any awkward silence. Not on this matter. It was a fair assessment she wouldn't know what to say.

My brother, on the other hand, substitutes his go-to response "Copy." with a jolly note, warming my heart.

All afternoon I find myself glancing over to my system tray for new incoming mail notification. That is so like my mother to choke on this.

I kinda have the blues today, a deep drop from the cloud yesterday.

First day back to Standard Time and everything feels a little off. My internal clock has not adjusted.

As it gets dark, i notice for the umpteenth time under an unused desk my duffel bag that used to be my "overnight"* bag at RJ's, still with contents from the old house. This time, i see that it no longer belongs there, under the antique furniture in the corner of the room, out of sight.

I hurried and unpacked the blue devil and put it away in the closet with others bags and purses.

It's done.

The days of packing overnight bags for sleepovers are gone. I am home. Even if my mother doesn't write me back with unequivocal approval.



*A joke since i practically never left.