The doctor called today. I recognized the number but thought i'd see what they wanted first. I don't really answer the phone anymore. And if they don't leave a voicemail? That much better.
It was the beautiful young woman of East Indian decent who gave me a pelvic exam recently. She had a pretty, feminine voice. In that perfect Californian accent that i covet. She timidly informed me that my pap smear results were "slightly abnormal".
Either they're abnormal or they're not. Slightly? Aww. She was afraid to hurt my feelings. Sweet.
And then she said her phone number so fast before hastily hanging up that, after having listened twice, i still couldn't make it out and had to look it up online.
Of course it wouldn't have mattered which number i called her back at. It was all routed. Centralized.
And of course she couldn't be reached for comment at this time.
Habitually stealing sunny moments between storms, i wandered in RJ's backyard, feeling unsettled. Of all days, he wasn't home this afternoon.
I've had an abnormal pap smear before. It turned out to be nothing. I've even had a suspicious lump in my breast that also turned out to be nothing. Hell, i'm a veteran. You don't scare me.
Even if this is not a false alarm, having HPV doesn't necessarily mean cervical cancer.
Not immediately, anyway.
The mind wanders.
Well, if cancerous cells
are festering as we speak...
That'll put me out of my misery. As JD used to say, I just hope it doesn't hurt too bad for too long.
And what better excuse NOT to work? I can just hear it now:
"What?! You're unemployed at will? In this economy?? ...Oh, you have cancer."
