Category

The only thing worse than a paper cut is a corrugated cardboard cut!

Natural Selection

Today i stare at my uneven nails and wanna blog about them. Sure enough, i already have.

In 30 seconds i involved both Darwin and God. No small feat.

Buddha would say Darwin and God are one.

Snippet 82

(2:57 p.m.)

V:
I am bored.. How's your day going?

Russell:
My day is always crazy.

V:
Sometimes i prefer crazy to boring. That goes for people too. LOL!

R:
I love crazy people. I like it scary!

V:
Crazy is not necessarily scary. Look at me!

And You May Quote Me 38

Life is too short for dillydallying... which is not to say i'm never indecisive. But.. once i make up my mind, i do it. The way i look at it.. you can waste a lot of time sans-action, or you can start regretting already!

Quote 146

It is never too late
to be what you
might have been.

- George Eliot

Snippet 81

V:
I should quit white boys...

Denisse:
I never knew what you saw in them.

It Is Not Even V-Day Yet

Stumbled upon a set of nonstick egg rings at Marukai Market last night.
Nothing beats the sight, aroma, and sizzle of a fried egg.

First time employing chili flakes.

The heart is broken. Go figure.

... Worth the crispy edge.

Amphibian

This afternoon i informed Derek II that after work i was happy-hour-ing with Denisse at Merlion.

At first he was clueless about the location. After a couple more descriptions on landmarks, it started to dawn on him.

"I've totally driven by that statue!" Exclaimed Derek.

"It's the Merlion, the symbol of Singapore!" I joyfully reported. "It's half lion and half fish. It's a mythical creature."

(This knowledge is impressive only to someone who's not from Asia. Or a lover of useless information.)

"Half fish, huh?" Derek was amused. "Is that why it spits water?"


I was caught off guard. Literally dumbfounded. I mean i have never mused on why the creature regurgitates. It just... does! ("Dumbfounded" is such a good word - Dumbness has found you!) (And latched on!) Plus we got a loud background and for a second there i thought he was shedding light on the fact that i had spat while talkin' all animated.

And... as soon as i'd made the last comment, i felt redundant.

"I would think [it is mythical]," remarked Derek. "Otherwise you would've seen it at the zoo... Or Sea World!"

Well, turns out the Merlion is not an imaginative product of some primal tribe. It was an industrially designed logo for the Singapore Tourism Board as recently as the 20th century. (Remember that era??) And to use it you need explicit permission from the board. There goes another one of my bubbles.

Chili Dried Mango

From Sigona's. A crazy dance on the palate.

Gem

For two days now i've wanted to buy this outfit. So i can be happy and beaming and athletic... And, have i mentioned, happy?

This is ridiculous. I have 12 outfits to go running in. If i actually run.

That's one of my new year's resolutions. To run. Dexter thinks i should exercise. "What's the big whoop about exercise?" I actually asked. I was truly perplexed. I was already thin.

Exercising, Dexter explains, is transformational. If your body is happy, your mind cannot be far behind. Chemical change galore. I'll feel better about myself. I'll feel alive.

"I don't care what you do," concluded Dexter. "Get out there. Get moving!"

So, really, this is not my resolution. I'm letting Dexter run my life. Somebody should other than i. I haven't exactly been doing a bang-up job at it.

"The shelf bra has come a long way," I told Denisse on Wildcat Loop Trail last Sunday. I don't think she has suffered bad sports bra days - she's too young. I just couldn't get over how cozily mine cradled my boobies. Without squishing!

After the freezing morning hike i had to rinse caked mud off the hem of my sweatpants. The moment was a little surreal and disorienting.

I'm not sure i felt alive. But it was a fine deviation.

And now i think i should look very cute in that pictured shade of green.

Gruel

For years i loyally used Asian Suite by Union Way to type in Chinese, mostly to communicate with my mother via email.

After finally having my new computer in place, i find, to my dismay, that Asian Suite is not compatible with Windows Vista.

I've written sales@unionway.com to inquire whether they are working on an updated version. I mean Vista has been out a while! No response.

I've resorted to NJStar. No offense to NJStar's developers, but, just like the Microsoft built-in Input Method Editor, the only way to type traditional (as opposed to simplified) is pinyin (for someone who can't Cangjie).

Pinyin is a skill i learned in college. Two years, no less. So i can do it. Nearly proficiently. But... To spell in pinyin is to think in Mandarin. What i love about Asian Suite is its unique Canto phonetic feature. I can think and spell in my mother tongue. Plus there are characters available that only exist in Canto speech. Not to mention the keyboard shortcuts are a breeze.

At first i was so exasperated, after days had gone by and i remained unable to reply to my mother's email, i actually picked up a pen [rollerball - it's the only way to write! ; ) ], wrote two pages (on 8" x 11" - not too shabby!), scanned, saved as image files, pasted in a Word file, then emailed the Word file as attachment. Whew!

Remarked Denisse, "That's dedicated!"

"Less exhausting than phonetic typing," i replied.

My mother was thrilled. She called it "the real thing".

In her reply she asked me if i had heard a Chinese proverb:

White cat. Black cat. As long as it kills mice, it's a good cat.

referring to the two apps.

No, i hadn't. I was in awe. At the same time i understood why Confucious gets mocked to this day.

I wrote back:

Black cat encounters hurdles all the way. White cat was better.

Since i handwrote that note (oh, wow, that's really mouse-free), i should add:

Fuck the cats. I have me!

Patter

It is a Buddhist belief that it takes a lot of accumulated good karma to cross paths with someone. A lot of work.

You can imagine it takes years, lifetimes, of work to be family. Tremendous to be a couple. Remarkable to be friends. Coworkers. Associates.

To give you an idea, it is said that it takes ten years of work just to be riding the same bus with someone. Or any vehicle. Or vessel. You catch the drift.

Next time you're on the subway, take a good look at those crazy sons of bitches (and bitches) around you. Marvel. Breathe in the moment. But don't breathe in too deeply, or you might detect a stench.

Why Taylor Deletes

Can't stand all that noise.

Preservation

I pickled yesterday.

I was so stricken with depression i couldn't even photograph my work. The same goes for the liver and gizzards i made prior.

By tonight the hermetically sealed jar is so frosty you can't see the dried chili peppers or the cloves (the spice, not UOM of the garlic. Yes, i'm a snob.)

Now i'm gonna have to live at least another month in order to taste this. Now that puts me in... um, a pickle.

And You May Quote Me 37

I've been coughing so violently, my ovaries hurt.

Quote 146

No amount of doing is going to fix your unhappiness in being.

- Robert Holden


Disclaimer: i'm paraphrasing

Karma Camelia

I'm coughing like i'm dying this week. I taste blood.

When things were good, before Dumas left Camille, she dreaded, "I can't go back to whoring..."

Yet, as fate would have it...

He raced back to her. By the time he reached her, she was dead.

The most romantic story ever.

I'm no Camille. I just relate to the coughing.

Luft

The red balloon i had in mind

True Purgatory

I can't allow myself to relax.

I can't allow myself to suffer.

I kick and (silently) scream.

Snippet 80

AC:
My red balloon popped!

W:
That's what balloons do. They're bound to pop.

V:
Not necessarily. Sometimes they shrivel up and die.