From Argentina, With Love

Today was gonna be my fun day. I had many things in mind. Finally I decided I was gonna drive down to Capitola. But the weather was not very inspiring. I walked to the park down the street instead, and took a few pictures, as if I was on vacation.

When I came home, I had a package from Argentina, to my surprise. Immediately the infamous track from Evita played in my head, and I was compelled to hum along. Thankfully no one was around to witness the episode.

Of course, it was the CD I bought at Amazon (not the rainforest, incidentally also in South America! Nor was it the Evita soundtrack that was on the CD I purchased...) E-commerce really is quite amazing. I don't think I was ever so aware of being on the recieving end of it before. BTW, no wonder it took 10 days to get here.

Starbucks Alias

My Starbucks alias is Phoebe. I was inspired by Will & Grace, and I liked Phoebe Cates in the 80's. It just occurred to me recently that most barristas can't spell Phoebe. One of them asked me how to spell it. Another wrote "Febe". You know what? I DON'T CARE. Work it out between you and the foamer-upper. As long as you can pronounce it, like I give a sh_t. Just keep the convo minimal between you and me and I'll be one happy camper.

Severance

I'm suddenly very aware that his picture is still in my wallet. I've been meaning to pull it out, but just can't seem to. I thought when I went to his place (finally) to pick up my things, I'd have closure. There's such reluctance to end the chapter and close the book. The very act of removing his photo would seem an irreversible demise - I just can't. Not right now. The very thought is like embracing a giant cactus.

And how ridiculous this sentiment is, when he never carried a picture of me in his wallet.

We were a piece of parchment paper. We kept tearing at it, down the middle, against the grain, so it was never a clean break. We'd see the damage, panic, and tape over it. From a distance everything seemed fine. Even up close, as we touched it tenderly, it felt nice and smooth. But everything was not fine. And we were constantly restless.

And now, with every day that passes, the tear grows and the gap widens.

Perhaps one day we won't remember that we were once joint.

O Jann

I bought her album when I was still living in L.A. There's that given track #4, of course. But when I recently dug up my collection from storage and listened, OMG, what wisdom I have unearthed! What a woman! Check this out:

There will be no consolation prize
This time the bone is broken clean
No baptism, no reprise and no sweet taste
of victory
All the stars have fallen from the sky
and everything else in between
Satellites have closed their eyes
and the Moon has gone to sleep
Unloved

"Unloved", Living Under June, Jann Arden

My Goddesses

I have many goddesses. They keep me sane. Even - *gasp* - happy at times. The supreme is Tori Amos. She's ethereal. Unsurpassable. Beyond speech. She knows the human experience on so many levels, she touches your soul in so many places, it's scary.

Lately I've been fixated on Jann Arden though. Read her next.

Go Sheryl!

You wanted me only
To never be lonely
So you opened your arms and took me in
But this is our last goodbye
This is a perfect lie
Told by someone that I used to know back then

"Perfect Lie", Wildflower, Sheryl Crow

The Wake Up Call

Last night my ex JD told me maybe I should quit posting on our blog. We had a co-owned blog, you see. Sometimes you just need a little push and a little humiliation before you take that next step. So here I am.