Served

Love this eggplant and garlic spread. For some reason it reminds me of those vegetarian dishes at my grandma's Buddhist association where she used to take me when i was little. It was in a historic 3-story building. They had a HUGE kitchen and a HUGE cafeteria. Lunch was quite an event. I remember the aroma and the earnest anticipation.

Such a unique taste. To this day i yearn for it. Must be umami.

Either that or it must've been sunflower oil.

Lorn

Hot naked guy upstairs from my next door neighbor moved out yesterday. He even moved naked. The torso of a god.

This afternoon, as i come home from work, i stare up at his empty balcony where he used to hang out.

Life will never be good again.

To the Bartends @ Vivid

Is it a job requirement TO BE AN ASS??

Left

Tonight i am mysteriously craving pizza.

Maybe not so mysterious.

Yesterday afternoon i got a text from area code 954:

Is this V's number?

I was a little annoyed they didn't identify themselves. I called 411 (no internet at work. I know, medieval!) That's Fort Lauderdale, Florida. There's only one person i know who lives in FL. My heart sank. I felt an ache in my tailbone.

Who wants to know? I replied. And was proud to be cocky.

Some girl. Her name sounded vaguely familiar. "You know JD, right?" She asked.

My heart sank even lower. "How do you know JD?" I asked.

"He is now my husband," she said.

The good old "It's not that he cannot commit, he just can't commit to you". Classic.

She wants "to be friends".

Rage took over and took me by sheer surprise. I was overcome.

But i was rational enough to refuse to take it out on the woman. I stated that i didn't believe that JD wanted to be friends.

She found excuses for him. His phone was weird. Text notifications would be easily missed.

I said it was on Yahoo! Messenger.

Oh, he's been busy at work.

Yeah. Not a peep in one and a half years. I'm sure he's been plenty busy. (I wasn't even able to do the math until later.)

It occurred to me she didn't know him at all. The notion saddened me. And she must really, really love him.

And THAT notion saddened me even more.

I just could NOT continue the conversation.

I acknowledged she had to be a very good-natured person to reach out like that.

But, boy, did pain reign.

Buried memories resurrected. Repressed emotions resurfaced. With a vengeance.

Should've known Dexter knew what he was talkin' about when he insisted i face the past and all the pain that tagged along with it.

Abandonment issues. Nothing to do with real abandonment at all.

All In a Day's Work 28

Yesterday, out on the floor, shortly after i'd returned from lunch, Derek II was engaging in a conversation with Kato when i happened to be pouring hot water in my mug.

All of a sudden Derek yelled out to me, "V, what do you get out of signing up with BevMo?", referring to the rewards.

I was mortified but retained my composure. There must've been 5 or 6 people around, staff and customers included.

I lifted my finger off the tap. "The 5% [discount]!" i replied.

And i added in my head:

And the reputation of being an alcoholic.

Peregrination 9

Sometimes when i'm standing on the edge, i envision myself walking forward... until i disappear in the water

I feel like i'm already drowning

The Best Way to Text

You can't tell but there is a person lying on the grass in a distance, leisurely thumbing away on her phone. Cute.

There was A LOT of duck poop around. In certain areas it was impossible to step around it. Kinda like life.

I hope she wasn't lying on duck poop.

This girl reminded me of Goldie*, someone i laterally cyberstalked for months. It was exhausting. I hated myself for it.

Then, one day, i just... stopped. She was irrelevant. I no longer obsessed.

I'm hoping the miracle may repeat with another nasty habit.


*Not her real name